Are Long Distance Relationships Good? (Answer of a LDR Survivor)
It’s easy to suggest that long distance relationships are hard work, but even though that’s right, this type of relationship doesn’t have to be bad.
But what makes them good?
Here you’ll find several ideas that explain how a long distance relationship can work, and why they can actually be a good experience.
The Beginning of Uncertainty
If you have no experience being a part of a long distance relationship, then you won’t have a clear understanding of the stress that comes with it.
It is normal for a couple to have concerns about their relationship when there are so many miles between them. However, this doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed from day one.
As long as there is a neutral understanding about the situation between the pair, then there is something to build on.
During the early stages of the relationship, there is a possibility that either one, or perhaps both, persons will begin to doubt the future of the relationship.
It is crucial to know, that as soon as a couple can get through this particular time, things will become customary and the relationship will begin to flourish as long as both people are on the same page.
The best way to deal with this early stage is to keep on talking to each other, and avoid getting into unnecessary arguments. The key thing to have in mind is to remember why such relationships begin in the first place.
If there is love and determination, then the relationship will grow even with the distance.
Making the Best of a Hardworking Relationship
It’s no secret to anyone as to how much hard work goes in to a long distance relationship. If there is no love from the beginning, then it simply cannot work.
Both members need to be equally as determined right from the very first day. If there is an equal determination, there is no reason why the relationship should fail. To make the best of this situation and to make it a good experience, then always find the time to speak to each other.
We are lucky that we are in an era where it’s easier to be in this kind of relationship because, with the technology of today, there are tools such as Skype and Facetime that allow us to contact each other more freely.
During the beginning, it is important to plan a schedule for the best times to call each other. If two people are in different time zones, then that is something to think about while the planning takes place.
When the plan is finalized, it is important to stick with it as best as possible. This will prevent any blames towards the commitment of the relationship. If one person keeps on abandoning the call-up times, then that will only raise concern for the other person.
During the conversations, the best thing to do, is always to listen. This is the key to making it a good long distant relationship because it allows both members to count on each other when there are good days and bad days.
If one person is having a bad day, then they need to be able to count on their other half when they decide to call them. If the other seems disinterested to listen, and this becomes a continuous phase, then questions need to be asked.
Another way to keep the relationship in being a good one is to send enough text messages between each other.
This task cannot be overdone though, as there is every chance that one person will become annoyed if there are far too many texts pinging their phone, These can be fun, flirty, or sweet messages.
It is always important to read positive messages on a daily basis, especially if it’s from a partner. That way, it keeps them close together, and it tells each of them that the other is still determined to make the relationship work.
One way that I found to work well was to send each other a photo from the past, being together. Then, alongside the photo, ask what they liked most about that particular day. It is a great way to solidify the relationship because it shows that you are both cherishing past moments together.
Are all Long Distant Relationships the Same?
To answer this subtly, you have to say no. Not all long distant relationships are the same. Some people may only be doing long distance within the same state. Others may be doing distance where one of them are on the other side of the world, and this makes is so much more difficult.
This is due to travelling being much more of an obstacle. The money to travel could be one problem, or having the time to fly so far for such periods could also be another issue.
If this is the case, then everything mentioned in this article still needs to be applied, with greater effect. If there are obstacles in the way of two people visiting each other, then it is vitally important to be there for each other as much as possible.
For those who do have the luxury to visit each other more frequently, they need to use each visit to their advantage.
They will find, that with each visit, their feelings with one another become fresh again. With the past they already share, there is still a strong familiarity, and this helps the relationship grow to new heights.
If two people can visit each other, and they use them to their advantage, there is no reason why the relationship cannot be deemed as a good one.
If there are arguments during these visits, there is no need to panic. With being away from each other for so long, it is normal to have built up tension between them. If the arguing is predominantly about their relationship, then it shows there is passion and a willingness to make it work.
Are long distance relationships good? They can be, as long as the both of them are equally as determined to make it work. As soon as the attention and the commitment begins to die out, that is when it’s time to step back and question the relationship.
Importantly, the right amount of time needs to be put in to the relationship. For it to be a good relationship, both members need to try hard to stick to their call times. Failing to do this will only raise concern, and that is not good moving forward.
What won’t make a long distance relationship a good one is if one, or perhaps, both people listen to the doubters outside of the relationship. There will be people, whether it’s family or friends, that like to try and raise doubt.
It is best to ignore these claims, as long as both people feel like it’s all worth it. If it’s not worth it, then the long distance relationship will be far from good.