Internet Relationship Guide: How to Make it Work (Online & Offline)
In this day and age, almost everything is done through means of technology.
Groceries can be delivered right to our doorsteps, we can buy pretty much anything on Amazon and have it delivered- we can even find love.
But what are these online relationships all about, anyways?
How do you make an online relationship work?
Commitment, communication, and trust are all key factors in an online relationship. You need to learn about this person as if they were right beside you, and communicate the ups and downs of the relationship. Visiting your partner often is also important, when you get to that level.
If you are interested in online dating or simply want more information on how to have a successful internet relationship, you need all of the facts. We’re going to discuss the different ways to find an internet relationship, how to keep it safe, and how to maintain it and make it blossom.
Do Long Distance Internet Relationships Work (If You Never Met)?
One concern many people have is whether or not an internet relationship can really work, especially if you have never met. While it’s easier to know someone and date them prior to moving away, it still can be successful if you have never met.
In fact, a lot of people claim that they get to know someone even more on the internet than in person. This is because you are stuck to messaging and phone calls, rather than a face to face interaction which can lead to physical intimacy sooner than expected.
The lack of physical contact and intimacy allows for more time to get to know each other. However, there will come a point in time where the personal contact is needed, and that will eventually need to be discussed between the two, where they will decide if they are ready to meet or not.
How to Find an Internet Relationship
Some relationships will blossom online by simply playing a video game, adding someone you find attractive on Facebook or Instagram, or joining a chat room. However, there are many online dating websites and apps that can get you connected with individuals who are actually looking for online love.
Some of the most popular dating sites and apps include the following:
- Elite Singles
- Silver Singles (For those over 50 years of age)
- OurTime (Another one for those over 50 years of age)
- Black People Meet
- Christian Mingle
Remember when signing up for these online dating websites it’s important to create a great online profile. It should share enough information to intrigue people, but not so much that it doesn’t leave anything more to share. Allow a little mystery. Be fun and creative. Your goal is to let your personality shine through!
Long Distance Online Dating First Meeting
Let’s say you have been in a relationship for several months with your online lover, and you’re finally ready to take the plunge and meet up in person. How should your first face to face meeting go? Here’s some helpful tips and tricks:
- Don’t meet up too soon. Give ample time to get to know the person before planning to meet them. You would hate to find out that you actually have nothing in common when you go to meet this certain someone, and you should have a good rapport before first meeting.
- Always be safe and meet in a public place. This can’t be stressed enough. Just because you ‘know’ this individual through plenty of chatting online, doesn’t mean you can trust them in real life situations. Meet in a public place such as a movie theater or restaurant.
- Never go back home on the first date. You should not leave yourself alone with this individual on a first date. Head home- alone. Even if the dates going perfectly well, you need to leave the first meeting to a public place (and even several dates afterwards).
- Always tell someone where you’re going, and with who. This is imperative! Always tell a loved one exactly where you are going and who you are going with. Don’t be embarrassed that you met online- it’s completely normal and could mean the difference between life and death.
- Be yourself! You have been yourself with this individual online for quite some time, so why stop now? Continue to be yourself! Yes, you might be a little nervous right off the bat, but don’t let that get in the way of a wonderful evening with someone you care about.
- If it doesn’t work out, don’t stress out. Some people really are different over the internet than they are in person, and that’s okay. It’s part of the online dating game, and you shouldn’t stress if your first meeting turns out to be a bust.
How to Maintain an Internet Relationship
Whether you have met in person or not, you’re probably curious how to make sure your relationship thrives. Well, there’s actually several things that are necessary to maintain an internet relationship.
Communication is Key
Communication is always going to be the most important element in a relationship, whether the relationship is in person and closeby or over the internet. In fact, it may even be more important when you’re relationship is through the internet!
- Make sure you’re communicating often, but not too often. You don’t want to smother the other person!
- Be honest with each other, especially if you’re having feelings of mistrust or loneliness.
- Don’t forget how important small talk is! Nothing says ‘I care’ like asking someone how their day was, or how they’re feeling today.
- Make sure to voice any problems that you may be having in the relationship to ensure they are worked out in the proper way.
- Don’t stick just too texting; the importance of phone calls and video calls is crucial when dealing with an online relationship.
- Don’t be afraid to text or call first, but also allow the other person to make the first contact from time to time.
- Don’t talk too much! You need to have your own personal space and miss each other in between talking.
Handle Loneliness and Jealousy
It’s normal in any relationship to feel points of loneliness and jealousy, but these feelings may be even more prominent when you’re in a long distance internet relationships.
You will likely wonder from time to time what your partner is doing when you’re not around, and who they’re talking to. This may be even more prominent if you see photographs of your newfound love with other friends, especially of the same sex.
There will also be moments where you feel lonely. After all, you’re not going to have any face to face time with your partner and no physical content day in and day out.
What should you do?
- Talk to you partner about your worries. Whenever you’re feeling lonely or jealous, simply talk it out with your significant other. They will be able to calm you down and give you the reassurance you’re seeking.
- Get busy! And no, not in an X rated way. Keep your mind off of the loneliness and take a break from jealous thoughts by staying busy. Find a new hobby, take up a class, or simply hang out with friends and family members.
- Remember that these thoughts and feelings will pass. As long as you remain positive and know that these thoughts and feelings are temporary, they will be a lot easier to get through.
- If there’s no trust, there is no relationship. This is true for relationships that are in the same city or states apart. If there is no trust, there is no relationship; so if you’re having trust issues, you may need to rethink the relationship altogether.
Make Each Other Feel Special
The best way to show someone you care (even from a distance) is to make them feel special! This could include small things to larger-than-life romantic gestures they will remember forever.
Some simple ways to keep your certain someone feeling special includes:
- A cute text message.
- Love letters sent through the mail.
- Small gifts, like a keychain or bracelet.
- Larger gifts, like a care package with all their favorites.
- A ‘date night’ spent over the phone or video chatting.
- A sweet video recording of you blowing kisses, saying how much they mean to you, etc.
- A surprise in-person visit!
- Planning real life dates and activities.
- Listening to their thoughts and feelings, good and bad.
- Asking about their day.
- Playing a game together.
It’s easy to show someone you care. Always keep in mind that you don’t have to do anything extravagant to show someone that they are special and dear to your heart. While big gestures are always a bonus, you can do one small thing at least once a day to keep them happy and confident in the long distance relationship.
Internet Relationship Advantages and Disadvantages
Much like everything else in life, there are some major advantages and disadvantages to an online relationship that should be considered before entering into one. These are just a few of the most common advantages and disadvantages:
|Go at a slower pace.||No physical contact.|
|Get to know them better.||No actual dates.|
|Don’t have to spend money on dates.||Being alone most of the time.|
|Not as threatening as meeting someone in real life.||May not be who they say they are.|
|Get creative with dates and making each other feel special.||May feel more jealousy/lack of trust.|
|More excited to see each other.||Not knowing when you will see each other.|
|Less intensity than a face to face relationship.||Chatting may become addicting.|
|Still retain your independence.||Lack of communication.|
|Learn to build trust with your partner.||Running out of things to talk about.|
Should Young People Have Internet Relationships
There may be some concern when it comes to the younger crowd having online relationships, especially if they are in their early twenties and haven’t had too much real world experience.
However, in this day and age you have to consider the fact that almost everything is being done online. For the younger crowd, online dating is becoming the best way to meet other people their age and really find a connection over the internet.
The question is: should they? Consider this:
- As long as they are being safe and know how to stay safe while meeting people on the internet, there truly isn’t a problem with younger people having online relationships.
- This is great for people with social anxiety who may find it difficult to meet people in real life. This is true for all age groups, but as more young people are finding it hard to meet people in real life, the internet has made it easier for even the most anxious young person to gain some confidence.
- They should know how to behave in an online relationship, just as they would a relationship with someone nearby. They should learn to respect and trust their partner and ensure there is ample communication and commitment taking place.
- They need to realize there won’t be physical contact in the relationship. This may be tougher as they see their peers having actual relationships and taking their partners out on dates, etc.
- An online relationship shouldn’t take the place of their lives at too young of an age. Unless the two involved in the relationship are willing to continue with their independent lives, the relationship shouldn’t be an issue. It only becomes a concern when the online relationship takes place over their young futures.
- Online relationships can turn into the real deal. It’s true that a lot of online relationships are turning out to be lovers who marry at some point. Again, the question of safety comes into play, and as long as they’re staying in public for the majority of the first few dates, you never know what will come of it.
Is Online Dating Safe
The biggest problem people have with online dating is the safety issue. You hear so many horror stories of people meeting some ‘creep’ on the internet who turns out to be someone they’re not, and a lot of bad things have happened to good people.
Does this mean that online dating isn’t safe? Not necessarily.
You Can Meet Bad People in Real Life
Just because you’re on a dating app doesn’t mean you’re a no good person that’s up to no good; in fact, almost everyone is on the internet in one way or another.
The important thing to remember is that you can meet just as many ‘bad’ people in real life as you do on the internet. It’s not a breeding ground for horrible people with bad intentions, and as long as you’re being safe, there should be no issue.
Be Safe with Your Online Ventures
You wouldn’t let a stranger off the street that you hardly know take you back to their place for some fun, right? So why would you do that with someone you know from the internet?
It’s true: people can lie about who they are on the internet. So how does one remain safe while venturing through online dating apps and websites?
- Don’t stick to messaging; have them video call you. While text messaging, instant messaging, and even phone calls are all great places to start, you shouldn’t plan to meet up with anyone until you have video chatted. That way you know the face matches the profile picture.
- Don’t give out any of your information. Ever. Don’t give out your full name, address, where you work, or who your friends are. When it comes to phone calling and video calling, consider using an app so you’re not giving away your real phone number.
- Meet in a public place. This is the biggest piece of advice anyone will ever give you. Meet in a public area, like a restaurant or movie theater where there’s a lot of people. This will ensure your safety before, during, and after your date.
- Don’t let them see where you parked. It may sound silly, but you don’t want them to know what kind of car you’re driving or end up with your lover following you back home when they weren’t invited.
- Stay public for awhile. Even if the dates are going perfectly, you want to make sure you’re not alone with this person until several dates have passed. The longer you stick around in public areas, the more you will be able to trust the individual.
- Always tell friends and family where you are and who you are with. This is essential for your safety. Let them know the exact place you are going, who you are meeting up with, and make sure to check in with them often so they do not worry.
How Many Relationships Start Online
According to a recent study, a whopping 40 percent of all relationships start out online; incredible, isn’t it?
This all goes back to the internet essentially ruling our lives. We can do anything on the internet, so why not find love, too?
That being said, one can feel quite confident that they may be able to find love online and invest in an online relationship. As long as they are doing it safely and keeping communication at the top priority and remaining loyal and confident with their partner, they may be able to find the love of their life.
These statistics are truly incredible. And while 40% is still a large number (almost half of all relationships in 2019), the percentage is likely going to increase due to an influx of new dating websites and apps that are connecting people from nearby areas to across the world.
How to Know if an Online Relationship is Real
We will do you one better: we’re giving you the top 10 list of how you can know the online relationship is real, as well as 10 signs it’s never going to enter into the real world.
10 Signs That Your Online Relationship is Real
- He doesn’t ‘ghost’ you after a few days of texting and chatting.
- He wants to meet up with you, and you actually set a date (including time and place).
- You talk about the little, less important things going on in your lives.
- You two can laugh about just about anything.
- The chemistry is truly there.
- Your both looking for the same things in a relationship.
- You both have talked to several other people before finding each other, and it was a match.
- They compliment you in other ways than superficial.
- You both get offline at the same time, which essentially shows you’re not talking to other people.
- It feels like you knew each other before you met on the internet.
10 Signs That Your Online Relationship is Fake
- The date is always set for a random time in the not-so-near future.
- They are always ‘busy’ when you ask to meetup, or even video chat.
- They say they aren’t on the dating app you met them on, but you will always find them there (with some lame excuse as to how you found it).
- You find out that they were fairly close to you, but they didn’t ask you to hang out.
- They don’t care that you two haven’t met in person.
- You’re way more into them than they are into you.
- They start to ghost you.
- They update their dating profile with more text, pictures, etc.
- They don’t really care if you stop talking to them.
- They take forever to respond to you.
How Long do Online Relationships Last
This is a difficult question to answer because it is up to the two people involved in the relationship. When it comes to an online relationship, it will all come down to standing the test of time: do they want the relationship to continue even though it may be long distance, or would they rather see other people?
Another thing that comes into play is whether or not the two actually ‘click’ in person. There’s been a lot of occasions where two individuals hit it off over the phone, but when they’re actually face to face it seems like everything has changed.
For some, though, the relationship can flourish and going from an online relationship to a real, face to face relationship is nothing but perfect. These two may continue their online relationship for several years before deciding to tie the knot!
Remember that the length of a relationship will depend on whether or not the two are really into each other, and whether or not they have the communication that is necessary for online dating. They must also be able to trust each other and deal with not seeing each other as often as they would like.
How to Make Online Relationship Work
Online relationships are always going to be a bit more difficult than real relationships because you don’t have the physical contact that most people want and need. You will also spend many nights alone, which can lead to loneliness and jealousy issues.
So how can you make sure that your online relationship is a success? Well, we’ve discussed it pretty heavily already, but here’s the breakdown:
- Always remember the importance of communication. This doesn’t mean you have to talk all day and all night, but ensuring there is enough small talk, getting to know each other, and voicing opinions and concerns is crucial.
- Never fight over text messages. This is one thing that is easy to do, but is also a surefire way to end your online relationship. If you are upset about something, take a breather and call them rather than text.
- Try and visit them as much as possible. This will give both of you the physical connection you may be craving and add a little bit more connection and spark to your relationship.
- Always make sure that you are keeping the excitement alive in your online relationship, especially if you’ve been together for a long period of time. This means surprising your significant other with gifts, whether it’s a sexy photograph or sending them sports memorabilia in the mail.
- Make them feel special by involving them in your life, listening to them, and surprising them with things- whether it’s small like a love letter, or a giant stuffed teddy bear in the mail.
- Stay loyal and committed, trusting your partner to do the same. One of the biggest reasons why online relationships fail is because there is a lack of trust. If you’re feeling like there’s infidelity going on, you need to discuss it with your partner to get to the bottom of what is going on.
Online relationships are quickly becoming the way of meeting people and dating nowadays, and you need to be prepared to handle the struggles (and fun parts!) of being in a long distance online relationship.
Remember to stay committed and offer plenty of communication and fun surprises, as well as some must-needed visits along the way.