Long Distance Relationships in College: Advices to Make it Work
There is no denying that going to college or university is extremely busy.
Balancing classes, homework and having a semblance of a social life can be extremely difficult.
What can make this balancing act even harder is having a long distance relationship – which can make things easier in some ways – but is still time-consuming nonetheless.
It’s extremely important from the get-go to establish expectations of one another and communicate, communicate, communicate!
Going to college is supposed to be a life-changing, amazing experience. You may ask yourself how you can still have fun and stay connected when your partner is hundreds to thousands of miles away.
I was a College student doing my Bachelor of Science in Nursing while also maintaining my long distance relationship, and I won’t lie to you, it was TOUGH. Though, through my four years, I learned the best ways to keep my long distance relationship happy.
This article is going to tell you exactly how I did it.
#1: Share Your Course Schedule
You may wonder, why is this necessary?
Well, sharing your course schedule does one very important thing: it keeps your partner in the loop. So, when you are in your ENG 104 lecture and ignoring their messages for 3 hours, they will know exactly why.
Letting them know when you are in class will not only allow them to know when (and when not) the best times are to try to communicate, it will also prevent unnecessary conflict.
Going to College is stressful enough, so walking out of a lecture with 5 missed calls and 10 messages from your partner is a totally preventable stressor. The second you get that course schedule, send a screenshot over to your partner.
It’s the first step to making this long distance thing work, trust me.
#2: Communicate Your Expectations
What are YOU expecting in this long distance relationship?
Do you want daily video chats, texting throughout the day, a call before bed?
Let your partner know and ask them what they expect from you as well. This way, you can be open right away about what you want and are comfortable with.
College can get very busy, so setting up a schedule for when you can talk will make things so much easier.
#3: Introduce Your Partner to All of Your Friends
This may seem a little weird for long distance couples, as you aren’t physically there… but that’s where video chats are so helpful.
If you’re staying on residence for college, introduce your partner to your roommate as soon as possible to get the “I’m in a long distance relationship” topic out of the way, and so they know why you may be video chatting at weird times of the day.
It’ll also help let them know when they should give you some space to spend time with your boo.
Additionally, make sure you introduce your partner to any other close friends you make at the college throughout your years. Video chat together and let your friends get to know them.
Hopefully, this will prevent them from trying to hook you up with other guys/gals at college and help them respect your relationship.
#4: Snapchat and Video Chats are Your Best Friends On The Go
Sending pictures, Snapchat videos and video chatting throughout the day on your breaks will make your partner feel included and up to date on your daily college life.
You don’t need to do this all the time, but a few times a week at least will make both of you feel closer.
So when you see something funny on campus, snap it to them! When your friends are being ridiculous in class, or when your prof starts ranting about something totally unrelated to the lecture, snap it to your partner.
They’ll appreciate that you thought of them and wanted to share those moments with them.
#5: Don’t Feel Pressured to Stay In On a Friday or Saturday Night
In college, you are going to have many fun opportunities, whether it’s hosted on campus or your friends dragging you out for a fun night. Don’t feel pressured to stay in because your partner can’t come out with you.
Let them know where you’re going and who with. Once again, send a few snaps their way but don’t feel obligated to text the entire night.
Going out can cause a lot of conflict in long distance relationships if you haven’t built trust. Which leads me to my next crucial tip….
#6: Trust Each Other And Give Reasons to Trust Each Other
Building trust in a long distance relationship is absolutely essential.
This is the entire reason you are sharing your course schedule, communicating expectations, introducing your partner to everyone via video chat, snapchatting experiences and letting them know when you are going out to drink.
Keeping your partner in the loop as much as possible will help them feel comfortable and avoid surprises. Never lie to your partner, even if you think it’s for their own good. If the truth gets out, they’ll begin to doubt everything you’ve ever told them. Be truthful and be trustworthy.
For example, in college, I had a lot of guy friends. If I had never told my partner about these guys and suddenly he saw all these pictures of them, he may be a little suspicious about why I’m spending all this time with them.
That’s why I introduced them to each other super early on and gave reassurance that it was a platonic relationship.
#7: Plan Visits for the Future to Keep You Excited and Interested
Having a countdown will help with how much you miss each other. It’ll help with the feelings of longing, sadness and wishing you could just be together already.
Count the days together, download a countdown app, mark it on your calendars and plan what you will do together when you see each other.
The wait will be worth it.
Conclusion: You CAN Survive your College LDR!
Maintaining a long distance relationship and attending college can be extremely stressful, but following these tips will make it so much easier.
Share these tips with your partner and together you can strategize as a team how you will make these years at college enjoyable and simply just a small, fun chapter in your lives together.
This article was written by Tammy, the Team Lead at Long Distance Diaries (www.longdistancediaries.com). Long Distance Diaries is a blog run by several long distance couples from around the world, sharing their best advice for how to make your long distance relationship work.