How To Survive a Long-Distance Relationship and Beat the Distance?
Simply surviving a long distance relationship is not really the goal.
The Internet has definitely made long distance relationships a lot more common, and, for the most part, made them easier to cope with.
But just surviving a long distance relationship is not really the goal.
Like any relationship, you want it to progress and flourish and, just the same as any relationship, two vital ingredients to making that happen are determination and commitment.
Unfortunately being hundreds or thousands of miles apart makes it a little more difficult. Difficult, but not impossible.
The Key to Beat the Distance
You will have no doubt heard it said, seen it written (and even listened to it sung) that communication is the key.
But however clichéd it sounds, when it comes to surviving a long distance relationship, it’s simply the truth.
In a long distance relationship, you don’t have the advantage of regular physical contact so you are forced to rely on other methods of communication. And very often, finding new and different ways to communicate takes a little imagination.
Most people rely on e-mail and cell phones and there is no doubt that both are hugely important if you want your relationship to grow, but you also have another method to connect intimately while you’re apart, a method which is very often neglected in these days of modern technology, both emotionally and physically.
A handwritten letter or card can say so much to your lover – especially if you find it difficult to communicate by phone.
Sometimes things can be said on a telephone in the heat of the moment but bitterly regretted later, and it’s extremely difficult to take them back.
Words come out wrong and very often what you say is not what you mean.
For many people, there is also the added problem of different time zones. It’s difficult to make a phone assignation when for one of you it’s 3 o’clock in the morning.
This is where the advantage of a written letter comes in. You can take your time writing it, change it, add to it, and say what you really mean without fear of it coming out badly.
You need to go beyond merely surviving a LDR.
Of course, you’re not trying to outdo Jane Austen and nobody’s saying that your letter has to have the grammatical accuracy of an English Language exam, but words, written from the heart, can ensure that you go well beyond merely surviving a long distance relationship.
You can also include things in your letter, like a small card with your perfume/cologne sprayed on it (obviously don’t do this if your significant other has hay fever!), photos reminding them just how drop dead gorgeous you are or even a small lock of hair (emphasis on the small – needing a completely new hairstyle to cover the clump you removed is not a good idea!).
A handwritten letter is far more intimate than a typed e-mail and can say so much more than a phone text message.
Obviously, during the course of a busy day, when you may only have a few minutes to spare, both of these are crucial ways to let your lover know you are thinking about them, but when you’re on your own, feeling lonely and missing your loved one, writing them a letter can really help bring you closer together.
And the best part is that you can keep the letters, reading and re-reading each one when you need extra reassurance and you’re unable to talk to each other.
But, obviously, that’s not all you need.
5 Secrets to Become LDR Survivors
Statistics also show that 70% to 82% of long distance relationships end because couples don’t plan for change. And that’s HUGE.
So you want to keep your relationship? We’re not going to give you any false hope here. It is hard!
But it can be done with a bit of effort. So here are 5 tips to help you along the way!
1. Set the Rules
Start out by setting some ground rules for the relationship. Talk about:
- How often you will call
- How many hours you plan to communicate per day
- How frequently you should visit each other
- And everything else that is important to both of you!
Discuss your expectations in depth before you leave each other. If everything is put on the table now, there will be no confusion later.
2. Establish Trust and Be Honest
Trust and honesty are essential to surviving a long distance relationship. Make sure that you have full trust in your partner before you part ways, if possible.
But how do you grow the trust between you?
Imagine making a date with your significant other. You get dressed nicely and are ready to meet them. Then they call you at the last minute to tell you they have to cancel.
How would you feel?
Hurt. Disappointed. And you would probably trust them a little less too.
Imagine if they kept doing it to you. The trust would completely vanish.
Make sure you don’t flake out when planning to call or visit them. Respect them and give them confidence and you will gain your partner’s trust.
3. Make Use of Technology
Use everything you can get to help your relationship. The best investment you can make is in yourself. Use Skype to talk to your partner instead of spending money calling them.
Then invest part of that money into a Netflix account so that you can have Skype movie dates with your partner. And also be sure to invest in relationship guidance books, in teledildonics and in LDR gadgets such long distance bracelets or pillows!
All these products are designed to help couples that are dating long distance, and can definitely make your couple life easier and more fun.
4. Be Positive and Confident
Chances are good that a lot of your family and friends are telling you that you don’t need a long distance relationship at this time in your life.
You should respect their opinions, but only you and your partner know your relationship best. Right?
What might not have worked in the dating world thirty years ago, can work today.
So take up a hobby to distract yourself. Plan on visiting your partner often. And be positive!
Only the both of you can decide the faith of your relationship, so don’t listen to naysayers.
5. Do Something Fun!
As we said earlier, the best investment you can make is in yourself.
If you’re anything like us (and almost every other long distance couple) you will find that the conversation between you and your significant other will start to fade away over the first few months of being apart.
Once the initial tingly feelings of love die down, it will seem that there is nothing left to talk about. At some point in your relationship, the conversation will get stale.
Not to worry though because we’ve found the solution to your problem. At that point, you should start being proactive about your LDR, just like in real life!
Plan dates, seduce your partner, play games, do some activities, learn from each other and have fun. That’s a relationship is all about, so don’t put too much pressure on you if you cannot come up with a cool discussion topic.
Do something else and just enjoy sharing quality time with your lover.
While surviving a long distance relationship certainly does take commitment and determination, developing and nurturing it also needs a little imagination.
It is far from being an easy task. At least, at first.
But after surviving a 3-year-long international LDR and marrying my girlfriend, I can tell you that it is totally worth it!