Top 10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Fail (Often)
Why don’t long distance relationships work?
Relationships are the most important things in our life. Without your family ties, friends and love, life seems completely worthless.
Being blessed with a family and a soul mate to love, life seems a lot beautiful and joyous.
However, in contrast, having a family and a partner, but separated by miles of distance seems like a curse to all those living a long distance relationship.
Some couples in today’s time serve the military services to the country and hence are forced to stay away from each other, while there are many others who live miles away due to their job requirements and just get time to meet each other once in a blue moon.
In these difficult situations, there are chances that you may lose your love or the special spark in your relationship.
As a result, a large number of people seek online help to keep their relation strong, healthy and happy. And that’s a smart idea!
Before you read the top 10 reasons why LDRs fail, I want to let you know that this isn’t going to be about why you shouldn’t get into a long distance relationship.
The truth of the matter is that long distance relationships can work and often do work.
You just have to put in the time and effort for a positive outcome, and the rewards can be excellent.
Below I will explain to you the top reasons why long distance relationships fail so often.
1. Different Expectations
Many people have different expectations about what a long distance relationship entails.
Some might think it is a free pass to do whatever they want without the prying eyes of a partner.
Others might think it is a heartbreaking catastrophe. You both have to understand that this might be harder than you think. But don’t be discouraged.
As we said, the rewards can be excellent.
2. High Travel Costs
If you’re lucky enough to live in the same country, or even state, as your loved one then you may only have to buy a train or bus ticket to see them.
However, if your long distance relationship stretches overseas, remember to take into account the airfare that you will have to pay each time you want to see your partner.
3. Lack of Communication
Remember that you should keep in close contact with your partner.
It was once suggested by a marriage counselor that regular couples should spend 8 hours alone with each other per week.
In a long distance relationship, we advise you spend the same amount of time.
It can become a challenge when you both have separate careers and life plans to maintain this communication.
Also, once the initial “love-struck” effect has worn off, talking on a webcam may begin to get quite boring. That’s why you should plan some great long distance dates.
4. Different Views
You can be “more in love with them than any other person in history has ever been in love,” but with different morals and views, two opposites won’t stay together.
Take some time before getting into the long distance relationship to understand each other’s views on topics such as religion, family, and finances.
And don’t be too proud to change your views over time to match your partners.
5. No Future Plans
The main reason why most relationships fail, let alone a long distance one, is because there are no plans for your future.
Make sure you establish where the relationship is going before you depart.
This can save you a lot of heartache down the line when you realize that you don’t want to be married when they tell you they do.
6. Lack of Trust
Trust plays a big part in any relationship, but more so than ever in a long distance relationship.
There is this presumption that an individual can do whatever they want when their partner isn’t looking. We strongly advise against this notion.
Partaking in trust exercises and asking relationship building questions to get to know each other better can help build a solid foundation of trust.
7. Short-Term Replacements
In any relationship, physical presence plays a key role in keeping the relationship strong.
However, in long distance relationships, the same factor plays an important role in breaking the relation.
Never compromise for even a second with an alternative friend.
If you have a third person in your relationship that will simply put your relationship at stake, adding more miles to the distance between you and your partner.
Never dominate your partner even if he/she is not physically present around you. Ask your partner before taking any important decision about you and your partner’s life.
In a long distance relationship, it is very difficult to judge the mood swings of your partner.
Hence, it is better to give respect and ask your partner about their thoughts on the major issues before you actually take the step.
9. Waiting and Observing Mindset
Another relationship advice for long distance is never to keep a wait and observe mentality in your relationship.
Stay interactive and don’t feel shy in taking the initiatives to call, talk, chat online, play games, etc. if you have the wait and observe mindset, you will feel a lot of frustration building up within you which may result to fights and other problems.
And finally, avoid getting unnecessarily jealous of your partner’s lifestyle and friends.
The main reason for jealousy is suspicion. In a long distance relation, most partners have suspicion on their mates.
Such suspicions give rise to jealousy and fights that may prove to be fatal for your relation.
Hence, the best solution in such a situation is to talk your doubts and trust your partner completely simply.
However, it is a smart solution also to keep a check on the moves of your partners. After all, you would never want being cheated upon by your love.
Conclusion: Will Your Long Distance Relationship Fail?
For a lot of people who are in a long distance relationship, it is not uncommon to often wonder if the relationship will fail at some point or other.
This is because a long distance romance is tough and we all know it.
It is hard to keep the passion burning for months and years when you hardly have the chance to see each other at all.
However, we should also be realistic as there are certainly no guarantees that your relationship will stand the test of time and distance.
To say that there will be happy endings for all long distance lovers cannot be further from the truth.
So, whether your romance will survive or fail depends very much on you and your partner’s, personality, actions and efforts.
Having said that, it is also wrong to go into a long distance relationship expecting failure.
In fact, many people have little confidence in their own relationships and partners that it automatically affects the outcome.
When you expect failure, your actions will reflect your attitude. Because you think things won’t turn out well, you would distrust your partner, put in less effort in the relationship or simply be argumentative.
In the end, the relationship crumbles, not because it is bad from the start, but you have influenced the outcome by your own preconceived notion that it will fail anyway.
Actually, if you want to be in a long distance relationship, don’t be too focused on the outcome. That is not the most important consideration.
What is more important is whether you can be happy in such a relationship. If you can be happy to be in love with your long distance partner, then half the battle is won.
Remember, nobody can predict the future. Nobody can tell you whether your relationship will fail or otherwise, even if you get to see your partner every day.
It is your and your partner’s attitudes, actions, and feelings over time that will determine the strength of the relationship, far or near.
Once you are aware of these common mistakes, it is also vital that you understand the value of your relationship.
If you love your partner truly and value your relationship higher than these small fights and misunderstandings, it would be really easy to live your long distance relationship happily.
So, make use of these long distance relationship tips and live merrily.