While there’s contention over who coined the term, what’s certain is teledildonics, the use of technology to experience sexual pleasure remotely, has never been more popular.
Covid-19 has a lot to do with it, of course, with couples having to socially isolate—frequently so far apart to make intimate associations difficult, if not impossible. Coupled with innovations in engineering and programming to finally bring teledildonics to a point where what was once just a purview of erotic science fiction to now being simply an online shopping trip away.
But this fancy-dancy tech certainly helps couples keep their amorous fires burning when they can’t physically be together; there are all kinds of other long distance sex games to play—including ones that only need your fingers to do some walking.
💖 Table of Contents
#1. Party like it’s 1980
Long before the rise of our teledildonic wonders, another technology got people hot, bothered, and off with one another.
I’m referring to good, old-fashioned phone sex. Sure, devices are smaller, more powerful now, and do way more than their ancient, sometimes rotary ancestors ever could, but they can still be loads of erotic fun.
For our first game, get your phones out and revisit the glorious heyday of talking dirty to one another.
The details of what you talk about and how you do it are up to you and your partner, though a kick-in-the-pants place to start is by embracing the use of new tech for old-style phone sex and get all giggly trying to act like you’re way back in the 70s, 80s, or any other decade you mutually enjoy.
It may sound funny to do this when you could use smart Internet-connected sex toys and video conferencing software like Zoom or Skype. However, there’s something special about utilizing the power of description, juicy noises, and your sexual imagination that can turn people on like never before.
#2. Become someone else
Let’s up the ante by changing not the hardware but the software by embracing the erotic power of pretending to be someone else.
As it’s commonly called, role-playing is when you and your partner temporarily assume a separate persona. On this, a good rule for beginners is to keep things on the lighter side. So although it’s tempting to pretend to be a particularly nasty person wanting to do particularly nasty things to someone, doing so often will open a can of unpleasant psychological worms.
My advice is to put Hannibal Lecter aside and rather pretend to be someone more classical, fun, and playful. Become a pair of flirty teenagers, a seducer or seductress, or whatever makes both of you smile—and horny, of course.
Adding to this, another aspect of BDSM play that can be great fun for couples in long-distance relationships to try is to pretend to be younger or older than your actual age.
In age-play, the idea is to potentially unlock exciting new relationship dynamics. Still, take things slowly and cautiously as now and again it brings up confusing and possibly even disturbing feelings.
Remember that it’s all just a game, and should anything unexpected and unpleasant happen, never hesitate to call a time out, ask for support or reassurance, and discuss what happened afterward.
#3. Have fun playing with power
Kissing-kin to role-playing is when a person consensually relinquishes control to another, and on the opposite side, the other partner takes the reins.
While it may sound unusual, power exchange is typically already part of many couple’s sexual dynamics but is rarely brought to light. However, this game puts it upfront as both parties have to talk everything out before the play begins.
A great way to get things rolling is to use an element of game #2 and play as different characters, but ones with an element of submission or domination.
No matter how you end up playing, never forget the core rules of power exchange: that everything has to be consensual, the play can end at any time for any reason without negative emotional or physical repercussions, and when your playtime is over, have a mutual safe space to talk about what worked, what didn’t, and what you’d both like to do again in the future.
If you’re looking for possible scenarios for this game, look no further than ones you and your partner already enjoy like teacher and student, superhero and villain, doctor and patient, performer and audience member, sex worker and client—the list goes on and on.
#4. Storytime!
Here’s a great way to fire up your kinky imagination and have loads of steamy sexual adventures with your long-distance playmate. Plus, the icing on the cake is you can play this game when your schedules don’t line up.
It works like this, though feel free to do whatever you mutually enjoy: one person writes down or records an erotic story—which they next send to their partner, who responds by sending back their own.
You can even make it a continuing story, with the initial partner setting the stage, introducing characters, firing up a sex scene or two, and with the other partner continuing it from there.
The goal here isn’t to create great literature but to have fun. Storytime additionally can be a fantastic tool in aiding a couple in opening up about sexual fantasies, activities they’re interested in pursuing, or expressing their relationship needs.
If you’re looking for inspiration or are a little nervous about starting, I find a good jumping-off point is to pick a movie or show you both like and try writing fan fiction about it. This way, you don’t have to create something entirely from scratch, as you’re taking characters you already think of as sexy and letting your erotic imagination run wild with them.
And, besides, if things go well, there’s no reason when you’re finally able to be together you can’t put some of these sexy words into even sexier action!
#5. Shop till you drop
As I said, while you don’t have to pay for a pair of the most expensive teledildonic toys to have enjoyable remote sex play, considering and researching them together can be a turn-on all on its own.
So for game number 5, spend time with your partner looking at products, discussing how they work, dreaming of using them together, and follow that up by reading what others do with them.
All this mutual communication has another significant benefit: by doing more and more of it, you and your partner will gain practice talking about sex in general: so that hopefully you’ll both find it easier to express what you want—with or without teledildonic hardware.
You also don’t need to buy anything for this game to be fun, as sharing what you’ve both found, reading about what new sextech devices are on the horizon, and watching them in action can be an arousing activity all by itself—without spending one thin dime.
#6. Let’s hear it for porn!
For my final sexy couple game, I suggest watching adult content together. The Internet makes this remarkably easy do to at the same time, and thanks to video conferencing software, you can watch others enjoying the show—the porn you’re mutually enjoying along with your shared reactions to it.
You can watch a mutually agreed-upon film or take turns sharing videos to then view together—and it’s a fantastic technique to help introduce your partner to something you may otherwise feel shy about discussing.
Again, I need to emphasize that this works only if everyone is comfortable. Otherwise, it could bring up relationship issues that can’t efficiently be dealt with or processed when you can’t be physically intimate with your long-distance partner.
Expanding mutual erotic horizons
Of the often-surprising benefits of playing sex games when not physically intimate, the one I want to bring up next is that some people find it easier to discuss sexual things when they aren’t in the same room as their partner.
Conversely, others need physical intimacy to feel connected and supported by their partner when talking about what they like or are eager to try.
It all comes down to the inarguable truth that good, happy, joyful sex involves trial and error: the willingness to use long distance sex games like those I’ve listed here, coupled with talking to one other, to develop techniques to communicate freely about your sexual needs and desires.
But as long as you and your partner trust and care for each other and can communicate without judgment, then no matter what happens, you’ll both come out the other side better for it.
It’s all in your mind
The very definition of imagination is that’s limitless, and now, courtesy of all those hardworking engineers and programmers, we can do what only a few years ago was pure fantasy.
But the solution to taking your sexcapades to a new level of pleasure isn’t a technological one; rather, it depends on how you exercise your creativity.
The first step of which is to permit yourself to play. Aided by reminding yourself that everyone has fantasies, and as long as they stay that way it’s okay to have whatever ones make you happy.
So in the privacy of your mind, let yourself go—and if you feel comfortable with the idea, perhaps ponder if they could be shared during long-distance play with your significant other. Though don’t forget that fantasies don’t have to be made a reality, particularly if they’re unsuitable or impractical.
But more than anything, when it comes to remote sexual experiences, do what makes in-person play great: not the hardware but passionately connecting with another person.
Do this, and you’ll have a hot time, no matter where you both may be.
