I am in a long-distance relationship, and man, it really can be tough! I constantly have to look for ways to spice up the relationship.
Getting to that mundane point in your relationship when things feel boring should be a no-go zone. Things can go down south very fast from that point on.
Keeping the excitement going in a long-distance relationship means having dirty talks with your lover. Apart from getting to know your partner and their preferences better, your next encounter will be magical.
Are you looking to spice things up in your long-distance relationship? I will share some of the dirty talk ideas that will turn on your partner and make you want them more. We will also look at how you can go about it.
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The Importance of Dirty Talk in a Long Distance Relationship
The biggest organ for sex in your body is the brain. Come to think of it, there is plenty of truth in that observation.
Every sexual interaction starts with the brain. It is your brain that has receptors to get you going.
Dirty talk engages the brain and brings a sense of sexual tension as you engage each other.
Also, developing constant connections when making dirty talks will improve your arousal levels. You will be able to achieve orgasms when you get to meet.
And then, next time you bang it out, there will be a reduced level of distractions, especially for the girlfriend. Her head will be in the game, and she will be more engrossed due to high arousal levels.
How to Get Started With the Dirty Talk
When having dirty talk, anxiety or just being shy is a normal occurrence. Kicking off that conversation is usually the hardest part of dirty talk.
However, once you dive into the pool of dirty talk, you will feel more confident. Here are some ideas about how to have dirty talks with your partner.
Describe What You Are Doing
If it is the first time, you will have to evaluate how you feel and your partner’s reaction. But how can you achieve this?
An easy way of kicking off dirty talk for the first time will be by describing what you are doing at that particular moment.
While at it, try to sound easygoing as opposed to sounding clinical or bored. Make sure you do not get your partner off.
This method is failsafe and will mostly generate good results. You can also try to describe what you are doing as you do it.
Be patient and wait for your partner to respond. Please don’t fall into the temptation of double texting, claiming it was a wrong text.
They are most likely to be thinking of how they will respond with something equally titillating.
Prepare Phrases
Try to plan a few phrases you will use in advance. You can write these phrases down in the notes app on your phone and refer to them as the conversation ensues.
This will make things much easier. The talk will flow seamlessly.
You should know dirty talking is not innate but a learned skill. Therefore, you should feel no shame about having to write notes that you will refer to when you are talking to your significant other.
You can describe what you are doing, how you are feeling, what you want to do to your lover, what you want your lover to do to you, etc.
Work Your Way Up
I would categorize the dirty words we use into four categories. These are:
- Romantic words. For instance, you would say “making love.”
- Clinical words. You will say, “having sexual intercourse.”
- Slang words. You will use words like “doing it” and “banging.”
- Raunchy words. Here you will use heavy words without any filters.
When starting, choose more subdued words and slowly progress to the more raunchy and feisty phrases.
Unlike the stereotype that you have to start raunchy to succeed in dirty talk, progressing slowly will prove more effective.
If you feel shy, start by telling your partner what you have in mind or what you will do to them by using romantic or clinical terms. Progress slowly as you build your confidence until you get as freakish as possible.
Make sure you do not go overboard with your dirty talk. People have points where they feel dirty talk moves towards an uncomfortable zone. Therefore, it will be crucial to establish what your partner deems as off-limits.
Define What is Off-Limits
It may be hard to draw limits when talking about sexual fantasies with your girlfriend.
Words that you use should be those that they are comfortable with. However, it would be best if you were not overly politically correct.
It will be up to you to draw the lines that should not be crossed. It would help if you communicated on the topic. List the activities and parts that get you excited and which are a turn-off.
It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will improve as you progress. You can decide to play it as a game, pointing out when your partner says things that excite you or turn you off.
Read Erotic Novels Simultaneously
You can introduce dirty talk into your love language by recommending erotic novels that you and your partner will read. You can begin with short fantasy stories and progress to bigger volumes.
Erotic novels can serve as a great way to establish the mood for dirty talk. You will also learn what turns each of you on and the converse.
From the stories in the novel, you can inject humor into the conversation. This eases the pressure of making the dirty talk.
Role Play
You will not bear the full responsibility for your words through roleplay, since your character will “pick them.”
Roleplay allows you to feel free to use words you otherwise would not. After all, you are staying in character.
With roleplay, you will get out of your comfort zone and say things you wouldn’t normally say with great confidence. If it works, you can always use the character later, but you can leave the character if it doesn’t.
Bringing Sincerity in Dirty Talks
The secret to successful dirty talks is being genuine. Try to talk about what is in your mind, gut, or heart. Do not make the conversation run like well-received compliments.
Also, try to be vulnerable to your partner. Sincerity and vulnerability will create a good atmosphere, and you will impress your partner without even trying to.
You should ensure that your tone is sincere and devoid of clichés. Creating fake or forced dirty talk will make you come off as condescending or cocky.
Words that sound silly should be avoided. This may include words like “tush,” which will kill the mood and turn your partner off.
Use words like tits instead of boobs for a more dominant and passionate talk. You can also use “breasts” for romantic conversations.
On the other hand, use butt, booty, or ass to refer to your girlfriend’s behind. Make sure you are serious when having dirty talk. This will have a great impact.
On the contrary, making sexual statements to your partner sarcastically will prove ineffective. They might become offended or turned off. Therefore, try to be assertive as much as possible.
Above all, have the courage and genuinely kick off the conversation. You are sure to take the plunge.
Dirty Things to Say to Your Girlfriend
Women are not readily turned on by dirty talk like men. Therefore, you should have finesse and master the skill of turning on your girlfriend every time you have a dirty talk.
Unlike men, women are socially wired to fear “being used.” It will help if you tread with caution when having these conversations.
She should know that you respect her before you get to have the dirty talk.
Make sure she feels safe with you, and your relationship has advanced to the level of having a dirty conversation. Also, know what she is interested in.
I would categorize dirty talk into different sections according to the likes of people. Knowing what your girlfriend likes will work best, since our preferences turn us on.
Here are some of the categories and what you can say in each.
If She is About Romance
This is a category that many women would fit into. Women are naturally turned on by romance.
From the books they read to the songs they listen to or the movies they watch, you can determine whether your lady is the romantic type.
Here are some of the dirty romantic messages you can send to her:
- I want to hold your body right now.
- I want our lips to touch and kiss like there is no tomorrow.
- I miss your smell. It turns me on.
- My heart is beating when I think of how freaky I want to get with you.
- I love you so much. Could you touch me all over?
- Hey beautiful! I can’t wait to see you again and get naughty.
- I need a kiss.
- I still feel your taste on my lips.
- I like how you kiss me.
- I want your tongue all over me.
- You get sexier every passing moment.
- No one can turn me on as you do.
- I want to lick you like candy.
- Let’s tease.
- Let’s make our own “50 Shades of Grey.”
- Let’s try chocolate syrup all over.
- I miss your arms around me.
If She Likes Reassurance
It would be best to let your girlfriend know how much you desire her, even in your dirty texts. This is especially if her love language is predominantly words of affirmation.
Some of the messages you can send her include:
- You are so sexy… thinking of you turns me on.
- You are very good in bed.
- Your lips are so yummy.
- You have the perfect body.
- Your ass feels so nice in my arms.
- You would be the sexiest woman in any room.
- You get sexier each day.
- No woman can turn me on as you do.
- There is no better sound in this world than your moans.
- You know how to push the right buttons.
- I like it when you dominate me.
- You are so good, you could teach sex lessons.
- I want that perfect body underneath me.
If She Likes You Being Dominant
Your masculinity and dominance may be what your girlfriend is into. Here are texts to send her to assert your masculine dominance sexually:
- I want to make you orgasm.
- I want to lick every inch of your body.
- I want to kiss you everywhere.
- What are you wearing?
- Next time I see you, I will show you what love is.
- Wear something that keeps me in the mood next time you see me.
- Can I have my way with you?
- Want to know a secret? I got a new way to love you.
- I don’t particularly appreciate that we are far apart while I could be doing dirty things to you.
- Let’s talk pleasure.
- I’m going to eat you out when I see you.
- Picture me between your legs coz that is where I belong.
- I want to make you scream my name.
If She is Into Nature or Spirituality
Here is what to send your girl if she is spiritual or loves nature:
- I want to show you my devotion because you are my goddess.
- I feel a great connection to everything when I am inside you.
- Let me be part of your best fantasy.
- I like it when you get wetter than a river.
- I want to make you squirt like a spring.
More Dirty Text Messages
Do not limit yourself. There are more messages you can send your girlfriend. Here are some messages you can add to increase the fun:
- I’m thinking when you dress in a… it makes me so hard.
- I’m playing with myself. I wish you were here with me.
- Guess what I’m rocking right now?
- I want to hear you say, “oh baby”.
- I can’t sleep. I keep thinking of what I would do to you if you were here.
- Hey beautiful? Wanna have some fun?
- All I want is to see you undressed right now.
- You are so sweet; you got me hooked like a drug.
- I want to see your face as you orgasm.
- I need to taste you right now.
- Let’s act out one of our fantasies tonight.
- I want you to torture me.
- I never thought I would want someone so badly.
- I keep stripping you in my mind.
- Tell me something you have always wanted to try in bed.
- Tell me what you want me to do to you. I’ll do it.
- Want to play a game?
- Are you alone?
- I want to be your prisoner.
- I got something for us to use.
- We should try role play next time.
- I want to go commando with you.
- You just had dinner. Can I be your dessert?
Once you know what works and what doesn’t, dirty talk will get easier for both of you. Remember to discuss your preferences and hers, and set any boundaries that need to be in place so you can just have fun together.
