Why Distance Makes Couples Lose Feelings & Fall Out of Love

It is no secret that sometimes the stress of a holding together a relationship that is long distance can make people fall out of love.

The question a lot of people ask themselves is why? Is it normal to lose feelings in a long distance relationship?

A normal close-to-home relationship versus a relationship that is long distance has a few key differences that may affect why long distance is a big factor to people falling out of love.

The good news is that if you and your long distance significant other are willing to work hard, then there are a few ways to fix it. Here are the reason why long distance makes people fall out of love and the ways you can fix it.

It Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Single

In a long distance relationship (or LDR) you can sometimes feel like instead of being in a relationship you are actually single.

This is because you very rarely see each other in a relationship that is long distance. A relationship needs to have a fairly stable amount of real quality time for it to be able to survive and thrive.

The only way a relationship gets to be strong is by having certain situations happen. These situations consists of being able to have and survive fights, make important memories, and really get to know one and other.

This is especially true of long distance relationships because these are the things that will hold you together when times get hard or lonely.

There are some things that you could not possibly really get to know about each other over long distance phone calls. It’s hard to figure out who someone really is over a long distance phone call and what their quirks and habits are that make them who they are.

It’s also hard to not feel single when being in a relationship that is long distance because you spend most of your time without them. Feeling single in a relationship that is long distance is a huge factor when it feels like you have fallen out of love in your relationship.

Loneliness is a Hard Thing to Deal With

Loneliness is a hard thing to overcome in a long distance relationship. It is also one of the big reasons as to why people fall out of love when their relationship is a long distance one.

It’s really not easy being lonely and a lot of the times, the only way your long distance significant other can help with that is to call you over the phone.

Sometimes a long distance phone call is not enough to help with the loneliness because once the call is over the person is back to being alone again. It may also not be easy to call when that lonely feeling hits you because of time zones or commitments like work or class.

When people are lonely they usually crave the affection of someone which can sometimes lead to cheating. This doesn’t always happen but it is a common problem in a relationship that is long distance.

Loneliness leads to a lot of problems in a long distance relationship other than just cheating. Loneliness can lead to aggression and unnecessary fights or arguments. Loneliness can also lead to disdain or resentment for their significant other.

All of these problems that stem from loneliness are also the little things that can add up to a couple falling out of love because of the long distance in their relationship. These can also result in adding up to the end of a relationship.

The Lack of Physical and Sexual Contact

Physical and sexual contact are important aspects of any relationship. The lack of physical and sexual contact in a relationship that is long distance can be a major part to a person falling out of love in their relationship.

People need the touch of their significant other for their mental and physical wellbeing. When you are a long distance from your significant other, the amount of physical and sexual contact that you get is either very limited or none at all. In the end it just causes problems.

This lack of physical and sexual contact can lead to a person in any relationship feeling neglected. It can also lead to a person feeling unwanted, unloved, and even ignored. The lack of physical and sexual contact then leads to misplaced anger and resentment, as well as sadness.

It all in all just leads to a lot of unnecessary problems in a long distance relationship. These littles problems that stem from a lack of physical and sexual content can lead to a person in a relationship that is long distance falling out of love.

Feeling Like You Do Not Really Know Your Significant Other

Feeling like you do not really and truly know who your significant other is can lead to uncertainty in a relationship.

People can be uncertain about whether or not they would still like their significant other if they lived closer together as well as being uncertain about if they would still like their significant other if they did really know who they were.

Really knowing someone means you know them at their worst and at their best. As well as knowing how they react to certain situations and their little quirks that make up their personality.

In a relationship that is long distance it can be hard to really get to experience these parts of someone, which can lead to some uncertainty and discontent.

In a relationship, you have to know your significant other inside and out to be completely satisfied that the person you are with is the person you want to be with.

When the only way that you can really communicate with a loved one is on a phone call or in a message over the phone, it’s extremely hard to really get to know the person you are in a relationship with.

The uncertainty about the person you are with is a big reason why people can fall out of love when they are a long distance from their significant other.

Not Being Able to Resolve a Large Fight

Talking over the phone when you are long distance is hard enough, but when you are trying to resolve a fight it can be even harder.

When you are trying to resolve a fight with your long distance significant other, a lot of times you have to be face to face to really try and feel what they are feeling, to put yourself in their shoes and understand what is wrong.

When you are trying to resolve a fight over the phone, you can’t get the same effect as you would face to face. That makes it easier to stay mad and kind of sulk about it longer.

When you stay mad at your significant other for a long time it can be hard to get over it. You can play it over and over again in your mind which can lead to even more anger and resentment. It is a lot harder to try and fix or remedy a fight over the phone than it is in person!

Staying mad about a bad situation for too long can lead to falling out of love because it never truly gets remedied. And making up over the phone is not the same

Not Having Enough Time for Each Other

It can be harder to make time for each other when you are long distance. Everyone has a fairly busy life and time zones can get in the way of that, even more so for a relationship that is long distance.

You have to be able to spend some sort of quality time together to keep the relationship together.

If you can not spend enough time together in relationship then there is not really a relationship. You have to have quality and meaningful time together as a couple to have a relationship.

When people do not make enough time for each other it can lead to feelings of being unloved, unwanted, and unimportant. These feelings can lead to people falling out of love and wanting to search for something that makes them feel better.

You have to give your long distance significant other as much time as you are both willing or able to give.

Without this investment of meaningful time, the relationship will not last very long or be a healthy and thriving relationship. Eventually, someone is going to fall out of love or be tired of being ignored and neglected.

Communication and spending time together is a huge and extremely important part of any relationship but especially long distance relationships because something has to be there to make up for the lack of sexual and physical contact.

3 Ways You Can Fix It and Not Lose Feelings in a Long Distance Relationship

Even though the problems we highlighted above seem pretty unfixable, there are still a few ways that you can try and remedy the problems. Fixing a relationship, even one that is long distance, takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and commitment.

Problems that are deeply ingrained in a relationship that is long distance do not get fixed overnight. Both parts of the relationship need to be willing to fix the relationship and be willing to do what the other part of the relationship needs and craves.

Some of the ways that you can fix falling out of love in a long distance relationship are by seeing each other more. talking about the future, and asking what your significant other needs, specifically, to make them feel loved, wanted, and respected.

Going more in-depth about each of these vague solutions it will look a little like this:

1- Seeing Each Other More

In a relationship, it will never work if you never see each other. Eventually you either have to see each other more or end the relationship.

Seeing each other more will fix some of the many little problems but can also help to remedy a lot of the bigger problems. Seeing each other more will remedy the loneliness and the need for physical and sexual contact. These things are crucial for a strong, healthy, and thriving relationship.

2- Talking About the Future

If the reason that you are in a long distance relationship is because you see yourself staying with that special someone for a long time then that is great.

The only problem is that you both cannot continue to thrive if the relationship is long distance forever. Eventually you both have to have a talk about the future and the possibility of one of you moving to be closer to the other one.

As uncomfortable as it can be sometimes, this conversation is a necessity in figuring out if the relationship can last and thrive. The relationship will not get better until that elephant in the room is remedied.

3- Figuring Out Your Significant Other’s Specific Needs

The only way to start to remedy a relationship is to communicate. This also means asking your significant other what they need from you to keep the relationship afloat. It can be anything but it usually is that they need more attention.

In a long distance relationship the biggest problem is just not enough attention, physical and sexual contact, and quality time. A relationship thrives on these things and simply cannot survive without them.

Your significant other might need other specific things to keep the relationship in love and healthy. The only way to find out is to ask them what they need.

Final Thoughts

The biggest way to help a seemingly helpless relationship is to communicate. If you want to bring the love back into your relationship, you have to ask your significant other what they need and how you can help them achieve that.

As well as them asking you what your specific needs are because they are just as important when it comes to bringing a long distance relationship back to health. There a lot of different reasons that any relationship can fall out of love.

Each relationship is completely different from the next. On that note, there are common problems that everyone in a long distance relationship has experienced at one point or another.

Loneliness and the lack of physical and sexual contact are the most common problems in a relationship that is long distance. Not only are they problems in themselves but they also can cause smaller problems.

These smaller problems can add up to the eventual falling out of love or the end of a relationship, and more so in a long distance relationship. Doing the best you can to fend off these common problems can help to keep your relationship that is long distance afloat the best you can.