Long Distance Dating Guide: Must-Read Tips to Seduce Your Crush
Long-distance dating can be challenging, but it can also be a great way to really get to know someone and possibly a true connection.
If you’re considering meeting someone online and starting a long-distance relationship, you need to know how to get the most out of it, while avoiding potential pitfalls and frustrations.
In this guide, you will find everything you need to know: From long-distance apps and websites to meet people, to how to make your long-distance relationship survive, and what to expect when you’re finally able to meet or reconnect with that special someone in person.
We know the world of online dating and long-distance relationships can seem a little bit daunting, and that is why we are here to help. We’re going to break down all the essential information you need to know about long-distance dating to see if it’s right for you, while also helping you get a head start. What are you waiting for?
Meeting Someone Through a Long-Distance Dating Site
If you are thinking about finding someone online and entering into a long-distance relationship, you need to start off by finding the person. While some couples may end up in a long-distance relationship due to some unforeseen event, a lot of LDRs will start on one of these top-rated dating websites (many which can be used in app form on your smartphone, too):
- Plenty of Fish (POF)
- Coffee Meets Bagel
These dating websites are said to be more detail-oriented and geared towards individuals who actually want relationships, unlike other apps and sites such as MeetMe and Tinder that may be more suitable for someone looking for a fling.
Being Safe on the Internet
Meeting someone on the internet used to be so taboo, but now it has become very mainstream. Some people actually prefer it to the more traditional “singles nights” or bar scene.
However, that does not mean we should ever let our guard down and expect the internet to be completely safe. When you are trying to find a new romantic partner on an internet website, you need to take special precautions to ensure your safety:
- Never hand out any personal information such as your last name, your address, or where you work.
- Keep messaging on the website for as long as possible until you feel comfortable handing out your phone number. Even then, keep in mind that you might want to consider using a phone app as to not hand out your actual phone number.
- Keep your social media sites to yourself, at least until after you have met in person. Social media sites have a lot of personal information on them, and you don’t want to hand that out to someone you just met on the internet.
- Never use Instagram or Facebook photos on your dating site profile as these can be reverse-searched and linked back to your social media websites. Which can, in turn, give away much more information that you may be ready to.
- Feel free to try and reverse-search the photos of people you are chatting with. You may find that you’re talking to someone completely fake, which is a giant red flag and you should cease chatting and block immediately.
- Go slow when you’re meeting people on the internet. You shouldn’t dive in and expect to meet them the same week you met them. This can be dangerous, and not knowing the individual all too well, a huge bore.
- You should always tell people about your online dating profiles. It’s not embarrassing, we promise! You don’t need to broadcast it to your entire Facebook page, but a friend or family member should at least know that your name is out there and you’re chatting to strangers, essentially.
How Does Long Distance Dating Work?
It’s no secret that long-distance dating is a lot of work, but exactly how does it work? Obviously, you and your partner won’t be able to come home to each other every night. You will be far away from each other. This could mean that you’re only a few hours away, or they may be in another country which is commonly the case in military relationships.
During this time apart you will need to get creative to keep the connection alive. There will be times where you will feel alone and frustrated by the situation, but a couple that stays strong and tries to communicate often and share their feelings will have the most success.
You should also try and make sure that you’re having some fun with your partner, even though you are not next to one another. We’re going to break down a whole lot of fun and unique ways to keep the spark alive and have plenty of fun, even from far distances.
How to Do Long Distance Dating
If you’re trying to find out how it’s even possible to be apart from the one you love for so long, you need some special tips and tricks to get you through it Even if you’re new to the game of LDRs you need to check out how to do it the right way so you can aim for success.
Use Your Extra Time Away Effectively
Since you’re not all over each other’s space for the moment, take some time to develop you. Take that class you’ve always wanted. Work out at the gym. Visit your family more. These are all experiences that will make you a stronger, grounded and more interesting person.
When you talk to your long-distance partner, you’ll have something more to bring to the conversation. You can be a window to a new world for your lover. That will only make them want to talk and be with you more.
Always Plan an End Date
Make it a point to plan right up front when you’ll be physically together again. This can help in letting everything you do build to a climax. Your partner will crave and want you more along the way if he or she knows there’s a release to the anticipation insight. If you don’t have any idea when you’ll see each other again, this could jeopardize the relationship.
Be Creative and Regular with Your Communication
Start every day with a good morning and end every evening with a good night message. Give your lover updates to what’s happening during your day. Even the mundane is important. Who you had lunch with or what you did during your workout, lets your lover still be a daily part of your life. Some things you can do to add to your texts include:
- Audio clips
- Short videos
Get creative with your texts. Stay in touch daily. Big gaps in your communication can make your partner wonder if you’re still around. Their imagination could run wild as to what you’re doing. Save the imagination for fun things.
Keep Track of Social Media
Like each other’s photos on Instagram and Facebook. Tweet. Tag each other. Show that you care. But don’t get creepy and start stalking. That’s not cool.
Know Each Other’s Schedules
It’s important to know when your partner is busy or free. You don’t want to interrupt during a midterm or important business meeting. Know when the small and big events are going on in your lover’s life. This is especially essential when you are in different time zones. But just as important, it will give your relationship a more intimate feeling. You know each other even when you’re far away.
Support Each Other’s Interests
Whether you’re together or far apart, you will both continue to grow, change, and move forward with your life. If you have a secure attachment to your lover, you’ll be able to let him or her mature and grow. You will find ways to stay connected and both of you will push each other forward.
One of the best things you can do to promote a secure attachment is to support your partner as they grow in their individual interests and strengths. Encourage your lover to have other interests besides you. You do the same for yourself.
Both you and your partner need to invest in your own happiness. It’s unhealthy if either one of you is burdened with being the sole source of happiness for the other. Invest in your own life. Prioritize friends, family, hobbies, etc. You have to create your own happiness. Communication is important.
But beyond that, don’t let the long-distance relationship get in the way of your own goals. You can each have different goals and be supportive of each other. Be there for each other but be there for yourself as well.
Don’t Overdo the Communication
You don’t have to communicate twelve hours a day. Receiving texts constantly throughout the day can get tedious. It can suck the anticipation of your next communication right out of your lover. Don’t try to overcompensate for the distance with constant texting.
When you constantly interrupt their day with texts or calls, it comes off as needy and possessive. That puts a lot of pressure on your partner to be the source of your happiness. Don’t spam them Let them know you care but don’t over love them. Less is more.
Remember The Love
Always remind your partner frequently what you love about your relationship. Doubts, insecurities, and jealousy can slip into a long-distance relationship. You’re spending so much time away from each other the imagination can go into overdrive.
Use frequent verbal assurances with one another. These will help minimize these negative feelings. It will clarify where you stand as a couple.
Don’t be afraid to ask for reassurance from your partner for yourself as well.
How to Make Long-Distance Dating Fun
Yes, your LDR doesn’t have to always be sadness and feeling alone. Long-distance relationships come with their own set of fun times that you and your partner are sure to enjoy. The biggest benefit of this is that you will get to know each other so much better, making the first meet (or next meet) something you will never forget.
Do Things Together
Just because you’re far away from each other doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy each other’s company. You can still have dates and do things together. Watch the same movie together. This not only gives you a moment but something more to discuss later. Do you like gaming? Play an online game together.
You could both go for a walk while video-calling each other. And don’t forget shopping. Go online to the same page and shop. Help your partner pick out that hard to find a gift for his or her sister. Or even better, pick out gifts for one another. Anything goes. If it’s something one can do, then both of you can do it. Be creative and spontaneous.
Deliver Your Lover Benefits From Afar
Listen as much as you talk. Even better, listen more than you talk. And don’t forget to hear the unspoken problems your partner might have. Be supportive. Just because you’re miles apart doesn’t mean you can’t be a shoulder to cry on.
On the opposite note, cheer your lover on when they have something great happen. You’re on their side and they should always know and feel that.
Get Naughty on the Phone
Phone sex is a great way to keep the furnace stoked. Sexual tension is always around in a close relationship, let alone in a long-distance one. Some ways to talk dirty include:
- Talk about something you’ll actually do later
- Active listening—clarify what your lover says and build on it
- Don’t rush it
- Don’t change your voice
- Stray from reality—let your imagination run wild
- Read an erotic story
This is a good time for partners to tell each other what they want sexually and what they want to fantasize about. Fun for all!
Send a Care Package
This care package isn’t exactly like the kind mom used to send to college. Although you can put homemade cookies in it if you want. A care package says you went the extra mile. Send a package that has fun toys. Supplying your own personal instructions on how to use them is even better. Sexy underwear is always a hit.
To really make your honey miss you, wear your unmentionables for a day. Your lover will be thrilled to have not only your dainties but your scent. He or she can use it later when you’re talking dirty on the phone.
Snail Mail Your Gifts
Getting a box in the mail and wondering what’s in it is an exciting moment. When you see that the return address is your lover’s it’s even more exhilarating. Send a sexy note or postcard (if you send a postcard, try not to make the postal worker blush).
Flowers, regardless of sex, are always a romantic option. Shop online and send your lover fun gifts. It will make it seem like you’re with them and not hundreds of miles away.
Long Distance Dating and Exclusivity
When you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, it may seem like a challenge when you’re not face-to-face. Well, even in an LDR you can find a romantic way to express your feelings of wanting an exclusive relationship. If your partner says yes, then there are a few things to keep in mind in terms of LDR and exclusivity.
Ready to make your long-distance relationship monogamous? be careful what you do in your spare time while your lover is away. It might be innocent but that drink after work with that hottie from the office, might not be the best choice. Don’t put yourself in that dangerous situation.
It’s ok to have friends but let your significant other know who you’re hanging out with. You don’t need to ask permission, just communicate. If you don’t let your partner know upfront, and they find out, they’re left to imagine the worst. You don’t want that.
Besides calming your partner’s fears, it’s also a way to continue to share your life with him or her.
Set Ground Rules
Be clear what the expectations are to your relationship. Discuss what you both want out of it. Neither party wants to take the other by surprise. Ask these questions:
- Is outside dating permissible?
- What is the commitment level?
- Are you exclusive?
By establishing these rules upfront, you can set the foundation for the whole long-distance relationship.
Long Distance Dating Apps
Thanks to smartphones, long-distance relationships have gotten a lot easier. There are a lot of
messaging apps available, but these are some of the best:
- Couple—This app for two allows you to operate on the same timeline. One feature is a shared calendar. Feel the touch with a Thumbkiss. And the live sketch feature is another exciting way to hold hands.
- Between—This creates a private channel for couples to store favorite memories. It allows you to design your chat space. It’s more intimate than a phone call.
- Rabbit—Watch a show together. Your lover can join you and the app syncs up. Even miles apart you can watch together. And no worry about spoilers.
- Without—This app gets your longing but knows you’re both busy. That’s why the single tap selfie-notes is wonderful. It reminds your partner that you’re thinking about them.
- WhatsApp—Long-distance relationships make it to marriage with this app. It allows calls, messaging and leaving voice recordings. It doesn’t matter where in the world you are.
- TouchNote—This turns your personal pictures into postcards and sends them to your lover. It also has a personal message. A lot more permanent than a text.
- Bloom That—Who doesn’t like getting flowers. Just pick your lover’s favorite flower and tap your screen. It’s that simple.
- Lok Lok—For you Android users, you need this. This allows your lover to send messages using sketches created on your lock screen. When you open your phone, a sweet doodle will appear.
- We-Connect—When you need intimacy, this goes beyond FaceTime, phone calls and dirty texts. This has vibrations. Once connected, your lover can control the vibrations.
Staying connected is vital when you’re in a long-distance relationship. These apps will not only help you stay in touch, but you’ll have fun using them.
Creative Long-Distance Dating
Now you know a lot of the rules when it comes to LDR and exclusivity, and you have a big chunk of awesome tips and ideas for making your LDR work. But how about getting a little bit more creative? These 5 ideas for creative long-distance dating will keep the spark alive no matter how far apart you might be.
Create Art from Afar
Your man may not be the craftiest human ever, but you can show him a thing or two. Plus, when you are done with your piece of artwork, you can ship it to each other through the mail and keep it as a token. It’s tons of fun to get creative with your partner and you will both get a fun (or beautiful) gift out of it. Winning!
Plan Future Dates
There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking about the future. Come up with some realistic future date ideas that will keep both of you on pins and needles until the day finally arrives. Perhaps a hot air balloon ride in Napa? Scouring through the ocean with a snorkel? Going to see the latest Star Wars film? The possibilities are endless.
Go on a Virtual Vacation
Who has the time (or money) to go on vacation all the time? When it comes to relaxing under the sun by the beach with your soulmate, it doesn’t have to be a reality; it can be virtual reality. Websites like 360 Video offer views of different areas that give you a real-life experience you won’t soon forget.
Play Nostalgic Phone Games
Don’t pretend like you never played 20 questions or truth or dare over the phone! Get nostalgic in your LDR and bust out the good old-fashioned phone games that kept us giggling for hours.
Look at the Stars Together
There are a lot of things you’re going to do over video chat when you’re in an LDR. Most people will opt to watch movies or make dinner or even go around the town with Skype open, but there’s the one really romantic thing you might be forgetting: stargazing. Try it out! You will be glad you did.
When Long-Distance Dating Partners Become Geographically Close
So, your lover is going to be moving nearby? That’s incredible news and I’m sure you’re busting out of your seams with excitement. It’s always good news to hear that the person you love won’t be so far away, and you can finally enjoy some time face-to-face.
Well, even if you have been in an LDR with someone off the internet for 6 months or more, you still need to take precautions. Is it going to be wonderful? Yes. Should you still be on guard the first time you meet? Yes.
Long Distance First Date
When it comes to meeting someone for the very first time, your nerves are rattled, and it might seem like your entire body is covered in sweat. Not only is this one of the most exciting times of your life, but it’s also the most nerve-wracking! So, what should you do? Where should you go?
- Remain calm. Remember, you and this other person have had some amazing times long-distance wise, so they’re almost surely going to enjoy your presence face-to-face. Relax and keep the conversation going as if you were still chatting over FaceTime.
- Pick something you know they will like. Everyone has their own interests. Some couples might start with a romantic dinner, while others will head off to the Renaissance fair to have some old-fashioned fun. Just make sure you pick something that is personalized to them and is surely something they will enjoy.
- Always be safe. Just because you think you know them, doesn’t mean you really do (sometimes). The best thing to do is to always be safe. Meet in a public location, don’t go home together, and don’t let them see the car you’re driving. You should also let someone know where you’re going to be with you, in case anything were to happen.
Can Long Distance Dating Work?
The truth is, long-distance dating is going to be difficult at times. While you can have fun, do activities, and even express sexual desires over the phone, there is still the challenge of being alone every night.
That being said, yes, long distances can work. The two individuals involved must be dedicated and willing to go through the struggle for the LDR to work, though. If there is enough passion and drive from both parties, it can be quite a success- until of course you’re able to meet in person and live happily ever after.
Long-distance relationships that start off a dating website are becoming more and more popular in this day and age.
As long as you have the right tips and tricks by your side, you can make LDRs work proficiently until you’re able to take things real-life.