No, missing your partner is not necessarily something to avoid at all costs. The truth is if you are suffering today, it’s not because you miss your boyfriend or girlfriend. Far from it.
We only really suffer when we try to resist the very idea that we are in a long-distance relationship. A distance we could find unfair, worse than a curse, and that we can legitimately hate.
However, not accepting your situation is the not the best advice, and can lead to you suffering from your relationship. It’s also one of the best ways to lead you to exhaustion and the end of your love life.
Although it’s difficult for two people who are in love to be separated, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.
You should rejoice to have in your life what millions of people are looking for: Love.
Thus, in this article, you’ll find 10 ways to feel better when you miss your partner so much, to channel this negative energy and redirect it into positive activities that are worth it.
💖 Table of Contents
1. Feel the Love!
During these moments of intense emotional pain, something special is happening. We feel like an energy inside of us wants us to kiss and hug our lover. Right here, right now.
Most people would advise you to hold this energy. To suppress it.
My advice is that you understand it is basically neither good nor bad, but you can prevent the worse by using it correctly.
How? The next time you are overwhelmed by these negative feelings because you miss your man or woman, try to see them as positive emotions.
Lie down, close your eyes and feel this energy passing through your body.
Let it go and enjoy the feeling. Keep your mind free of distractions and focus on your energy.
Then think and visualize your partner and you as a loving couple, together.
You might suffer from missing him/her, but you are able now to focus on the positive aspects and have gratitude for the past and the future.
You feel love, and that’s all that matters. Smile, you are together.
2. Talk about it with your lover
Talk about it, but don’t make it a habit either.
If you send him dozens of text messages to say, “I miss you …” all day long, call every 5 minutes, and expect your lover to be continuously available and receptive, she/he will feel overwhelmed and will doubt your ability to keep being in a LDR.
Talk about the topic and your feelings at the end of a conversation on Skype or the phone, for example.
From there, you can decide to increase your to talk more often or to meet more often to compensate.
3. Send your LDR lover pictures
If you cannot see your significant other in person, at least, you can share pictures together.
Send him/her photos of you, of what you do, of your discoveries, or anything that goes through your mind!
She/he will probably do the same in return.
When you start feeling sad, my best advise is not to get depressed. Go through your couple photo albums and think about the good times.
After a few minutes, you’ll already feel much better.
4. Go out with friends or family
Having a sincere conversation about how you feel in your relationship with a friend or a relative always works.
It’s a great way to release tension, feel supported, and think about something else. After all, missing one’s lover is a relatively classic problem in these modern times.
It’s a safe bet to say that your friends have experienced more or less the same and understand your situation. They are your best allies after your partner.
5. Write a letter or poem to your partner
Do you remember the idea of “positive energy” I talked about earlier?
You can also use it to free your emotions and put them down on paper. This will allow you to:
- relieve your pain and open your heart.
- create a unique gift for your lover.
Poets have done it for centuries, so why not you? They use their love and pain to write moving texts from the depths of their hearts and honor their muses.
Try it just once, and you’ll see how easy it is to let the pencil dance with these romantic thoughts without thinking about it.
(Now you understand why 90% of pop songs talk about Love.)
Put everything in an envelope, send it to your partner, and that’s it! Remember how that felt in high school?
6. Create something fun for your partner
From my experience, I would say that the best time to create a surprising gift for your significant other is when we miss her/him the most.
As I mentioned just before, if you want to write a letter or a poem when you feel the sadness, the words will automatically align on the sheet of paper.
The great thing is that it also works for any other activities involving creativity and your lover.
If you want to draw something, make a video, a photo album… Everything looks so much simpler, and the results are surprising this way. The absence becomes a kind of super-power which makes everything you do for your partner easy and effortless.
For example, why not be creative and discover new ways to be intimate in your LDR? Smart toys and remote-controlled devices make it very easy to share some private quality time, despite the miles.
Be positive and enjoy this opportunity!
7. Allow yourself to be melancholic
What if it was okay to miss him or her so much?
What if we allowed ourselves to be sad from time to time instead of blaming ourselves because we feel a little depressed?
Wouldn’t that be great?
It is more than normal to think from time to time about the moments spent together nostalgically.
And, of course, it is more natural to release pressure from time to time, letting the tears go, whether you are a girl or a boy.
I can guarantee that you will feel much better after a good cry. So, go ahead, it’s allowed.
8. Realize that the separation will not last forever
The distance is another point to relativize. Or rather, the duration of this long-distance relationship. Keep in mind that it won’t last.
One day or another, things will change and you will finally live with your partner in the best-case scenario.
(And I won’t blame you if you stop coming on LongDistanceFun.com, I promise 😉 )
The ultimate goal of long distance relationships – ending the distance – is not a dream, a fantasy, or something absolutely unreachable.
This is a common goal that eventually will come true. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be together, right?
To overcome the distance is easier than ever, so understand that it is just a matter of time.
9. Find an opportunity to see him/her sooner
Directly related to the previous point, I recommend during these intense “missing him/her” phases that you take the opportunity to think about ways to meet earlier than expected.
Cannot see each other until next summer?
You’d be surprised how a few minutes of thinking can get you so many ideas you hadn’t thought of before.
- Think about things you would like to do or see together.
- Think about your respective schedules.
Then see with your partner if it is feasible or not. Bingo!
10. Take care of yourself
Last advice in this article, but not the least important. The trick here is basic but extremely effective.
It’s about focusing all your thoughts on things other than the sadness you experience from your LDR.
As long as you can stay focused on another topic or activity (project, work, sport, music, books, movies, hobbies, etc.), you will be able to more easily manage the distance and the absence!
What to do When You Miss Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend: Conclusion
In conclusion, I hope you will remember from this article that the key is to consider the absence as an energy you need to accept and channel, and not as an evil curse you should suppress or hate.
Use this energy intelligently and release its creative and romantic power through the tips listed above.
– Will
This really helped me a lot. Thank you so much.
I usually go the melancholic route, but some of the other stuff here has helped me. (P.s. this is kind of random but a good song to listen to if your being melancholic is “On melancholy hill” by Gorillaz.)
thankyou so much!
This helped me because my girlfriend is moving and we are in school to, so we don’t get to see each other that often.🥺
Thank you so much for this! So helpful~
I’m super emotional. I last saw my boyfriend on the 16th December last year…I miss him so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Thank you so much Will. I feel much better after reading your tips about being in a LDR. For myself, I haven’t been with my wife since January of this year. We are still waiting for the day when she can have her US Visa interview. She is from Phnom Penh, Cambodia and planning to move to the US to live with me and my family. After reading your tips, I realize what I must do in order to relieve the pain of missing my wife so much. Thank you
Hi Jeremy, my name is Carla and I saw your comment about your LDR with your wife in Cambodia. Did you do the spouse visa? I miss my boyfriend so much and we want to do the fiance visa? He lives in Brazil. Do you think there is any hope for us? How long have you waited?
Thanks for the tips. The pandemic has scuppered our plans for meeting several times now. It’s been a year now and patience is definitely wearing thin now.
Another tip, I think of gifts i’m going to give him. They’re sentimental and based on conversations and our experiences.
I been currently missing my partner so much. Thank you for your tips. I’m trying my best to keep myself happy even tho I miss my boyfriend. It feels lonely but I’m trying to make plans to see him again. Thank you!
My long distance girlfriend visited me for four days finally after a year and I was the happiest I’ve ever been. She went back home yesterday and since then I haven’t been able to leave bed and stop crying. She works constantly and can never take time off and lives 9 hours away and neither of us are able to just drive to each other so it’s been hard facing the fact that we won’t see each other again for quite a while and we’ll have to go back to just face timing everyday like we did for a year. I miss her hugs and I feel so alone 🙁
ik bro the things happening to me also i really miss her a lot 🥺
Thank you so much
Thanks alot Mr Will, this article has really helped me today I feel so relieved.
Thanks alot
This did help a lot, thank u, feel a lot better now.
I’m new to the LDR thing, just spent 5 days walking with my new person to see how we got on after meeting briefly and then video calling for a month, it went amazingly and we’ve decided to give ‘us’ a go, I got back from our trip yesterday and am missing him terribly, we both write poetry, so i think I’ll try that 😍 thanks so much, I agree, theres a lot to gain from allowing these emotions, and it does mean we’ve found someone special 🥰
Hi, I’m sam I am in a relationship with a girl named max and her and I haven’t seen or talked in 4 months she is the love of my life and is the only person i know who doesn’t use she/her on me and instead uses they/them. I’ve missed her so much I’ve kinda lost myself in the process, these really helped as a coping healthy mechanism. Thank you so much!
Wow thank you so much,Will!
I’m only 15 but my girlfriend moved away in 7th grade. And I loved her and love her very much! We’ve been in an official relationship for 8 months and I can’t count the times I’ve cried and cried because I’ve missed her. It’s funny that you mentioned love letters…because that’s what would make me feel better is putting my honest emotions and thoughts on paper late at night, and then send it to her. She loves them all! I’m so grateful for you time for making this article, and will definitely use some of the advice you have given. Thx again.
Me and boyfriend were thinking how to get over with this LDR thing and then we searched and found put this article actually helpful and feeling real good now thankyou
I miss my long distant boyfriend and was able to see him recently after waiting a few months. We always have to wait as he has support and college qnd I have work and we don’t normally have the same days off and if we do then it is only for 1 day but I was able to go and see him for 4 days which was an achievement as I was diagnosed with a health problem earlier and lost my step dad recently. So thank you for the ideas of how to use the emotions and how to make the negative energy into positive energy
My boyfriend is doing a placement year in Edinburgh, and I spent a lot of time with him up there over the summer and now I have to go back to university, I know it’s going to be difficult to go see him as it’s 5 hours on the train there and back. I don’t think he misses me much sometimes. But I know I’d rather do the distance than to lose him.
I just constantly worry about him, like if he hasn’t replied I think something bad has happened.
This article did help, but its still difficult