Long Distance Sex Guide: How to Make Love in a LDR?
Sexuality must not be a taboo even if you live in a long distance relationship. No matter how old you are. No matter how long you have been in this relationship. No matter the kilometers.
Intimacy in a long distance relationship is just as crucial as in a traditional relationship.
The difference lies in how to express this intimacy. Say goodbye to physical contact, kisses, hugs and… sex.
Now the foundation of the couple is completely upside down. We give up on taste, touch, and smell, and we depend more than ever on our sight and our hearing.
But then, can we still share intimate moments together remotely? In other words, can we still make love with our partner? Can you still have sex in a LDR?
Well, “technically”… no.
(Although, as you will see in this article, technology seems to increasingly destroy the barriers that used to separate two beings.)
But that is actually fine. Because when you think about it, the primary interest of making love with our other half is not so much to feel an intense physical pleasure through our senses.
It is much more than that. Otherwise why would you not do it yourself?
Long distance relationship sex tips
We are currently in a society constantly connected and “infoxicated” by new technologies. In the field of sexuality, this has repercussions too.
Internet, social networks and applications to exchange messages with other people have led to greater ease of access to the sexual universe, not only due to the fact of linking and meeting people outside your social circle, but also to practice sex online.
So if it is normal nowadays to do it with people, you are just meeting or with strangers… Why not give it a try with your usual partner? Did your girlfriend went to work to another country? Your lover had to travel for a scholarship and want virtual sex?
Either for a couple of weeks or indefinitely, DO NOT listen to friends who tell you that it’s impossible to maintain a long distance relationship. Although LDR do not have the best fame, it is possible to overcome the kilometers of distance with much patience.
So let’s see, how to face the nostalgic night when our couple is starting their workday in another corner of the world?
In this article we will first review a series of long distance relationship (LDR) sex tips that can help you maintain the bond with the person you are so interested in.
Learning some concepts
- Cybersex refers to the practice of online sex, so that you get to simulate a sexual relationship. Statistically, most people confess to having practiced it. Initially they start with texts, then images and finally with video sharing.
- On the other hand, sexting involves the exchange of text messages that have a sexual connotation.
Currently sexting beats the cybersex, which had its moments of glory with the old webcams.
Either way, both practices (taking care of some details we will explain here) allow to develop creativity, let the imagination flow and can be our lifesaver jacket in a distance relationship that is sinking.
So… how to start?
You can send a message with sexual connotations, text or voice, take a sexy photo and send it to your couple to surprise her/him and, at night, before going to sleep, you can call her/him on the phone and tell her/him that you are alone in bed and describe what you are wearing (or not wearing) and whisper all the things you would do if she/he were there with you.
Clearly, things will get hot and most likely everyone will end up masturbating. At first it will be a bit strange, but you’ll quickly get used to it.
The next step may be the video call.
The experience can be much richer and more enjoyable if you communicate via Skype through your phone or computer. That way you can see your partner live and direct.
Of course if the conversation on the phone gave you a little embarrassment, here things will be more difficult at first, but not to be discouraged!
Find a time of day when both are calm, enjoy privacy and have enough time to practice cybersex with your partner.
It is important not to unilaterally force the situation, and really, verify the tranquility and the right moment for both of you in the couple.
It is important to use sexting to create a communication routine. That will help you reduce uncertainty and anxiety.
Advantages of the LDR in the sexual field
There is a greater degree of intimacy since when you have the opportunity to communicate with your partner you pay full attention to it, you want to know how she/he is doing, what, how she/he feels and many other things that sometimes in a “conventional” relationship you ignore because the physical presence of your partner makes you take it for granted.
When the reunion finally occurs everything is wonderful, there’s no time to fight, only to catch up, enjoy each other’s company and live moments of passion.
Finally, although this thought sounds a bit selfish and it is not sustainable in the long term if you want to be in a relationship, remember how good it feels when you do something without explaining anything to anyone.
Internet never forgets. Trust first.
In the case of not having extreme confidence in our partner, it is worth being careful while following these tips:
- Especially in the case of photos and videos, it never hurts to distrust and not show your face.
- Make sure you don’t have any malicious software on your computer. Maybe your partner is not to blame, and suddenly your photos or videos are spread over the Internet.
- Change your passwords from time to time.
- Delete the sexual content of your mobile or PC quite frequently. Remember that phones can be lost, stolen, etc.
Do not reduce sex to the online world only. It is essential for a couple to organize a trip and look face to face from time to time.
Although it can generate a lot of impatience and anguish sometimes organizing the reunion too early, it is also a way for the couple to have a common horizon.
Long Distance Sex 101: the 4 Best Methods
Here are 4 Ways to Have Sex in Your Long Distance Relationship that should allow you to stay in harmony with your partner and your desires.
These 4 methods are ranked from the most passive to the most fusional. The last one even allows you to exchange physically with your other half …
1. Sexting and mobile apps
Today, it can be stated without any hesitation that sexting has been largely accepted. And for a good reason!
The advantage of erotic texting is that it allows to express one’s most naughty thoughts without leaving too much one’s zone of comfort. Simple and effective, this one goes straight to the point with a minimal effort.
Here’s the procedure to follow:
- Be creative and create your hottest phrases
- Season these with one or more photos on Snapchat where you are more or less dressed and more or less in an evocative position
- Wait for the answer of your partner
- Raise the temperature!
Read more about Sexting for LDRs: The Art of Long Distance Relationship Sexting: 5 Tips to Sext Your Partner
2. Phone Sex
We go to the next level by adding voice to the words, for a favorable combination to the expression of the most intimate fantasies.
Indeed sex phone is more imaginative than the other alternatives. In this situation, it is up to each partner to describe what he/she is wearing, what he/she takes off, his/her position, his/her desires or what he/she would do to the other. Or try role playing.
Even if it means distorting reality and adding layers to fill one’s half!
Then we close our eyes and we let ourselves be guided by the whisper of our beloved one …
Read more about Phone Sex for LDRs: How To Have Phone Sex In A Long Distance Relationship?
3. Skype sex
After the sweet words, we go into action. Skype is certainly the most convenient free video conferencing tool to please oneself face to face.
This time gesture mingles with the words and you can contemplate live the realization of your desires, without needing to describe everything.
To spice up everything, you will be able to find on the Internet applications like “Sex dice” or “Action or Truth” that will allow you to launch small erotic challenges. But make sure the door to your room is locked!
Read more about Skype Sex for LDRs: 4 Things You NEED to Know About Skype Sex for Long Distance Relationships
4. LDR Interactive Sextoys and Long Distance Sex
Smart sex toys are not simple sex toys. Indeed, these allow to exchange in real time the movements made from and to another toy.
In other words, you will “feel” exactly the movements of your half and vice versa. Add to this the integrated video chat or Skype and you have the absolute solution to REALLY make love at a distance.
FYI, several ranges of products exist with prices ranging from 150$ to 500$ for a pair of sex toys. An investment that can truly be worth it, especially if your distance relationship will last for a long time.
Sex Ideas for Long Distance Relationships
When you’re in a long distance relationship, a lot of things are more difficult–including sex.
Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but it’s not doing much for other parts of you!
Fortunately, with these long distance relationship sex ideas, you can keep the excitement alive and enjoy an active sex life even when you can’t be together.
1. Share the fun long-distance style with creative toys.
There’s an app for everything these days–including long distance sex!
With a little exploring, you can find app-controlled sex toys for both men and women (sleeves for men, vibrators for women) that can be controlled via app.
With the right app, you don’t have to be in the same city for them to work.
Even if you’re across the country from one another, you can control your partner’s pleasure, driving them up a wall with the stimulation provided through the toy.
Some toys can even be programmed to work together for even more long distance fun.
2. Engage in a mutual masturbation session.
Fire up the phone–or, even better, use Skype or Facetime to connect so that you can look at one another as you engage in a little fun stimulation.
Through mutual masturbation, you can discover a great deal of sexual pleasure without ever being in the same room together.
Want to dial it up a notch? Give your partner permission to tell you exactly what you’re allowed to do to yourself–and vice versa.
You may just discover that you both enjoy handing over control–and that can make your next session together even more stimulating.
3. Make your sexting even more creative.
Do you have a Skype or toy session coming up in the near future?
You might already send a few teasing texts to your partner throughout the day, but when you’re in an LDR, you may want to dial the intensity up even more.
Send out some creative sexts detailing what you’d most love to do to your partner and how you’re going to fulfill some of those fantasies once you’re finally together.
Spend all day fanning the flames of desire so that when you’re able to get away for a session with one another, you’re ready for even more fun.
4. Send fun and sexy gifts.
Long distance relationships make special gifts even more exciting.
You may never know when your partner is going to send something special in the mail–or you might tease your partner, letting them know that there’s something fun on its way without ever fully giving away the surprise.
Send fun lingerie or underwear to your partner in the mail and ask them to model it for you.
Send a fun toy that you want to play with the next time you’re together, or a toy you’d like your partner to experiment with in your next online sex session.
You’ll quickly learn to look forward to these sexy surprises–and to open packages from your partner when you’re alone.
5. Take lots of pictures.
In any relationship, there’s a balance concerning the types of pictures you want to share with your partner.
While you trust your partner absolutely, some people don’t even want images of themselves naked to be out there.
Fortunately, there are some great solutions that can make it possible for you to enjoy images of your partner without either of you feeling uncomfortable or compromised. Boudoir photography, for example, involves taking incredibly sexy pictures that don’t necessarily share anything.
You can take a page out of the photographer’s book by browsing through some images online, or you can schedule a session.
Send those pictures to your partner all at once or save them and send them out a few at a time: whatever works for your relationship! Keep in mind that it’s not just lingerie or naked photos that are sexy, either.
Does your partner love the way you look in workout gear? Do they get turned on by the outfits you wear for fancy nights out?
Make sure to send along a few of those pictures, too–perhaps with a note about how you’d rather they were the one peeling you out of the outfit.
6. Share your fantasies.
In a long distance relationship, you have the incredible opportunity to share your fantasies with your partner in an open, honest way.
Start by creating a private email account that you only use for emailing your partner.
This simple step will prevent you from accidentally, say, sending a sexy email to your boss, whose first name just happens to be the same as your partner’s.
Then, learn to write out your fantasies–and send them to one another. They can be as detailed or as simple as you like, whether you want to describe exactly what you want to do to them in exquisite detail or you prefer to just send a few words and let them fill in the blanks.
Tell stories together. Discuss what turns each of you on. Not only is this a great way to spice up your sex life even from a distance, it’s an incredible way to get to know one another sexually on a whole new level.
When you do come back together, you’ll have a great idea of what your partner wants you to focus on most–and that can transform your entire sexual relationship.
7. Create a bucket list together.
Hey, you’ll be back together eventually, right?
Creating a bucket list of the things you want to do most once you’re side by side again is only natural–but have you considered the benefits of creating a bucket list filled with the things you’d like to do in the bedroom?
Creating a bucket list could be an extension of the fantasies you’ve already shared with one another, or it could just be a great way to make plans and increase anticipation for the next time you’re together.
Your sex life doesn’t end when you’re in a long distance relationship.
While nothing is quite the same as actually having sex with your partner, with these long distance relationship sex ideas, you can spice up your relationship and keep things hot even from hundreds of miles away.
In conclusion, not everything is negative, when two people are far away, greater closeness or complicity with the couple can be generated despite the remoteness, a strengthened trust while sharing fantasies, a kind of security and commitment to demonstrate to the other person erotic interest.
Self-eroticism reduces stress, depression, anxiety, increases self-confidence and the feeling of joy and strengthens all body systems.
Perhaps there is nothing more exciting for the couple than knowing and seeing the other enjoying.
However, the distance must be something temporary because you are living a circumstance that forces you to make that effort, but it cannot be extended indefinitely.
Living in the same city or close enough to see each other almost daily should be part of the common project.
It’s recommended that you put a date between both of you to end the distance and finally share the same home, except if you decide not to live together and continue to maintain virtual sex to spice up your sexual routine.
Anyway, at the moment you don’t have any excuse anymore for not sharing intimate moments with your boyfriend or girlfriend remotely
However, if you feel that your partner is reluctant to try long distance sex, it may be a desire-related problem.
In this case, I recommend you read the article I posted on this subject by clicking here.
Read more about the best sextoys for long distance relationships: Top 5 Best Long Distance Sex Toys (Teledildonics) for Your LDR Dates