Did you know that, on average, couples only visit each other 1.5 times a month in long-distance relationships?
This can mean keeping close tabs on one another is a challenge.
After all, your partner could be eating spaghetti at a romantic restaurant in Italy with her handsome Italian lover or doing who knows what else.
Despite the distance between you, the signs are still there. Consider reading on for subtle and not-so-subtle signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you in your long-distance relationship.
💖 Table of Contents
There’s a Loss of Intimacy
In a long-distance relationship, sexual and emotional intimacy can decrease if your lover is having an affair.
Both partners need to commit to intimacy if you want the relationship to stay strong on this front, even in a long-distance relationship.
If one person isn’t participating in this area, the romance will surely become stale. While a lack of emotional intimacy may not mean your girl is cheating, she may eventually desire to find another person to fill her needs.
When emotional intimacy is lacking, both partners tend to want to cheat. This would certainly be a major problem for me as well.
There are a few signs your relationship lacks emotional intimacy:
- You feel disconnected.
- You’re emotionally vulnerable while she’s not or it’s the other way around.
- You both avoid communicating your needs for support or help.
- You avoid talking about your lives.
- You avoid listening to each other.
Constant Schedule Changes
Of course, schedules change, but not every week. If your partner is cheating, she’ll likely use the excuse that her schedule has changed and she’s unavailable.
Truthfully, she wants to avoid spending time with you and is lying for the reason that she’d rather spend her time with another person.
You may notice her constant excuses lead her to increasingly withdraw from the relationship. This could be a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
She Doesn’t Care to Communicate
Each time you try to talk about anything, she seems distant or doesn’t seem to care about what you’re saying. When you attempt it again, she’s still unresponsive.
She may even avoid communicating in basic ways. Clearly, she doesn’t seem to care about your needs. This could be a sign she’s invested in talking to someone that’s not you.
She Picks Fights With You
Starting fights with you for petty reasons can mean your girlfriend is taking the coward’s way out. Your lover might take every opportunity to argue with you.
She does this because she’s not brave enough to tell you she’s interested in someone else. She may even want to end the relationship but is too afraid to tell you this.
If this is your girlfriend, the chances are she’s toxic and you shouldn’t trust her to stay faithful to you.
No Video Calls Together
Not participating in video calls can be a sure sign she feels it’s easier to lie by phone or text. When you see her face on video, you’re more likely to notice the little details she may not want you to see.
These could be subtle, such as a smile you’ve never seen before or a new hairstyle or outfit.
Her Phone is Never Working
When you call, she doesn’t answer. Then, when you ask her why this happened, she says her phone was in airplane mode, out of credit, or out of battery.
While this could be accurate at times, it can’t be true all of the time. This could lead you to believe that she doesn’t want to talk to you and you’re presumably right.
She Prefers to Call You
Anytime you call her, she seems stressed for some reason. But then, she says she’d rather call you.
The reason she prefers to call you is likely because when you call she’s busy with someone else. By calling you, she won’t need to worry about hiding her wayward ways through the phone.
She Has Unreasonable Expenses
If you and your girl have been together for a while, you probably know the details of her finances. This can give you an opportunity to find inconsistencies in her spending habits.
For example, maybe she says she bought a new designer dress but the reasons behind this expense confuses you. Next, you might find a receipt that shows she paid for dinner that same day or the day after.
Consequently, maybe she went out to eat with someone special and tried to hide it by saying she bought a dress, or she bought the dress and went out to dinner wearing it.
Her Friends Are Treating You Differently
When cheaters cheat, the partner is the last to know. You may find out that her friends knew from the beginning while she lied to you the entire time.
For one, you may notice a change in her friends’ behavior. They may be nicer to you than ever or they could even be trying to avoid you.
Namely, this could be a sign her friends are trying to keep her infidelity a secret and they feel awkward around you.
She Questions Whether You’re Happy
While asking you if you’re happy in the relationship once in a while may mean your girlfriend cares about you, doing this too often probably means she’s cheating. She’ll likely do this so that she knows you’re not happy, either.
Of course, this would give her the perfect excuse to end the relationship with you and she might not feel guilty either.
Her Appearance Changes Overnight
One day she might be wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. The next day, her hair and makeup look absolutely divine and she’s wearing a new outfit.
She may seem like a whole new person. Therefore, she’s likely seeing an entirely different person who’s not you.
In fact, if I was a cheater, I’d dress in my most stunning attire and head right out the door. And if I were you, I’d let her go.
She Has a History of Cheating
If you’ve heard that past behavior can be indicative of future behavior, you might want to listen to this advice. But everyone’s unique. A partner may admit to cheating on an ex.
Truly, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll cheat again. You can try to put the puzzle pieces together by asking her about her past relationships and if she had any affairs.
If you already know she cheated, then there’s a chance she’s seeing someone else. This could be true whether she’s cheated on you or another person in the past.
Moreover, she may not be ready to change if she’s cheated on you before.
Her Mood is Unstable
One day she could have the most positive, agreeable attitude, the next, she might become irritated with anything and everything.
Her mood may be unstable due to her living with the guilt of having an affair.
She could hate herself for being so cruel and yet doesn’t want to say anything for fear of hurting you. Instead of owning up to her mistake, she’ll lash out at you even though it may not be your fault in any way.
She Starts Talking About New Friends
When she arrives home from wherever she was, she might start talking about the new friends she’s been hanging out with.
She doesn’t give you the specifics, so you might even ask her who they are. Still nothing.
Not only this, but she might only talk about one friend in particular. Who this mystery person is you may never know.
And she never tells you who he/she is. The reason why she keeps the details from you is that she doesn’t want you to find out who it is.
You Aren’t on Her Social Media
When you look at her social media pages, her relationship status isn’t displayed for all to see. Not showing that she’s in a relationship can be convenient for her.
This can help her appear single to other potential romantic partners. When I’m in a real relationship with someone who I genuinely care about, I have no problem showing everyone on the planet we’re together.
She’s Avoiding Your Calls
If she’s avoiding your calls, she might be trying to avoid you as much as she can. This probably means she can’t stand feeling guilty for constantly having to lie to you about having an affair.
She may be avoiding your calls and she does this since she wants to break up with you.
In addition, being unavailable to talk sometimes could be normal. But being unreachable on a regular basis can be a red flag.
No More Pet Names
Whether she calls you Sweetie Pie, Honey Bun, or Muffin, you’ll doubtlessly notice when she no longer speaks to you in the most endearing way.
Instead, she’ll call you by your real name and this could cause you to do a double-take.
In my opinion, this would be a bit disturbing and cause me to start thinking about parting company with my little Pumpkin.
She’s Unresponsive to Texts
When you text her, you either receive disinterested, short replies or she takes a long, long time to text back.
She could be taking a tan on the beach, watching her favorite television show, taking a shower, or doing any number of activities. Then again, she may be busy with another lover and will text you back later.
She Has Multiple Social Media Accounts
While some people have multiple social media accounts, not everyone will hide one or more from their partners.
For instance, your lover could keep two social media accounts that you know about and are public. But she may also have a couple that are private.
Besides this, she won’t allow you to see those. She might use these extra accounts to live out her double life with people you’ve never met.
Your Partner Lies Frequently
Lack of transparency and honesty can break the bond you share together forever. Honesty is part of the foundation that keeps a relationship from failing.
For one, you might catch your partner lying about who they were with or where they went the other day. Although these may seem like small lies, they can be indicative that she’s a cheater.
I’ve known a few liars in my life and I can tell you that liars know how to trick almost everyone around them. This is why I suggest putting on your detective hat and investigating your girlfriend.
She No Longer Cares About Future Plans
In the beginning, you two were likely as excited as can be to build a future together and talked about it in detail. But now you might try to keep your mutual dreams alive by trying to have conversations with her about them.
She may not care to engage in future plans anymore and this can mean something: she’s cheating and doesn’t see a future with you anymore.
She Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story
Your girlfriend might be deliberately vague by saying she went out with friends but she won’t say specifically who. Not telling the whole story gives her a way to hide details from you.
She could have been with anyone but you would never know this and that is exactly what she wants.
Further, her behavior can cause you to feel too distanced from her, which can increase any feelings you may have of wanting to break up with her.
Flirting Occurs Less Often
She may flirt less often for the reason that she’s not attracted to you anymore. If she doesn’t try to flirt with you every day, she may not be in the mood for flirting.
But she still might be attracted to you. However, she may not flirt back with you or lack interest in flirting, and this could be a sign she’s not interested in you anymore and no longer even cares to be faithful.
While I may not be anywhere near the worst cheater of all time, I’d definitely quit flirting with my partner if I was becoming closer to someone else.
Doesn’t Say “I Love You” Anymore
Your partner may not say “I love you” anymore, since she feels intense guilt for being involved with someone else. I believe real love should last forever.
Therefore, when someone stops telling me these words, I start considering finding a new partner. There are plenty of other options for you to consider out there or maybe your partner did nothing wrong.
Either way, it can be important to be honest with yourself and with them to figure out the truth.
