How important is sex? It seems like an almost barbaric or silly question to ask, but sadly, it is a question that is far too often ignored.
Sex is essential for one’s quality of life, for their self-confidence, and to reduce stress. Sex has been shown to have a number of mental health benefits too, such as reducing anxiety and depression, according to a study published in 2020.
Due to the importance of sex, it’s also critical to address issues dealing with sexual frustration.
Sexual frustration is a very real phenomenon that can lead to issues such as anger, risky behavior, depression, even body-image issues.
For people who are sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship, there are several ways you can overcome this issue.
Below are some of the best ways to deal with sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship. They will help improve your quality of life and, hopefully, help salvage your relationship (and mental health).
💖 Table of Contents
1. Plan More Visits
Perhaps one of the easiest ways to have more sex during your long-distance relationship is to plan more visits with your significant other.
Planning more visits allows you to be physically intimate with your significant other, as well as help you maintain communication with your loved one.
By planning more visits, you can also ensure that your sex life continues to be healthy, and you don’t romanticize your partner.
Long-distance relationships can be easily romanticized, making it difficult to prolong the relationship when you two do meet in real-life.
Make sure you and your partner are visiting each other enough to be familiar with each other, know each other’s flaws, and have sex comfortably.
2. Practice Meditation
One of the side effects of sexual frustration is an increasing amount of stress. In order to reduce stress and mounting inner frustration, you must channel it in a way that is healthy and reflective.
One of the best ways to reduce sexual frustration, improve your mental health, and improve your quality of life is to practice meditation.
According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, meditation has a variety of benefits, including reducing stress and helping to calm the mind.
It can be difficult to have a clear mind when you’re sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship. Meditation can help you think clearly about your relationship, think about its benefits, and reduce stress associated with not having enough sex.
Best of all, meditation can be done in as little as 15 minutes a day. To meditate on your own:
- Find a quiet, relaxing area in your home or even in a quiet space, such as your car.
- Practice deep-breathing exercises, slowing down the breath in a controlled manner. This can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and stress almost immediately.
- Put on a guided meditation through an audio file, or visit YouTube for countless meditation videos available to the public.
- Focus on your muscles and actively work to reduce built-up tension in these parts of the body.
3. Consider Phone Sex
Phone sex has long developed from what it used to be. Society no longer views phone sex as a taboo that has to be done late at night through a rotator phone.
Instead, phone sex is a sophisticated way to satisfy yourself and your partner, satisfy fetishes, and also help alleviate sexual frustration in your long-distance relationship.
In fact, phone sex requires a lot of brain power. Sharing fantasies, creating stories, and adding spice to the relationship can all be done using phone sex.
Studies have shown that the brain is the biggest sexual organ in the body, so it’s no wonder that initiating phone sex can be a great way to stir arousal.
Phone sex can now be aided by the use of tools such as FaceTime. FaceTime is a great way to have sex if you’re in a hurry, and if you want to resolve your sexual frustration relatively quickly.
For the best fun during phone sex:
- Lay down in a comfortable position while talking with your partner
- Feel free to do your own touching and arouse yourself during your call
- Talk about specific fantasies, or role play what your deepest desires are
- Consider talking in whispers, such as using ASMR techniques
- Use background music, noise, and aromatic candles to create a relaxing mood
4. Consider Sexting
Texting is a great way to fantasize about your partner and think about them during the day. It can also be a great way to catch your partner’s attention and give them material for they themselves to masturbate and have fun too.
Sexting does carry risks, especially due to hackers that can access your private videos and photos. In addition, sexting a partner that is not trusted can backfire.
Although there are legal ways to handle these types of “Revenge porn” situations should your partner ever choose to use your photos and videos against your own will, it’s best to avoid this situation altogether by thinking carefully about what material you want to send and to whom.
Nevertheless, sexting is a great way to express yourself sexually and feel satisfied with your sex life. Get creative and dress in your sexiest clothes.
You can even wear other forms of lingerie, such as the Japanese art of shibari, or rope bondage, to explore your sexual side and share the experience with your long-distance partner.
5. Masturbate Alone
This is another simple, yet effective way to satisfy your sexual desire. Whether you’re male or female, there are tons of toys available to satisfy your sexual needs.
Many people might not consider masturbating due to the belief it will ruin their sexual desire somehow, or interfere with the feelings for their partner.
On the contrary, masturbation can help reduce stress and tension, and can be one of the best ways to avoid leaving your relationship due to being sexually frustrated.
Although you can always masturbate with your partner virtually, some relationships might require you to spend more time alone than normal. This can be due to reasons such as your partner being busy, in a different time zone, or deployed overseas.
In any case, you can masturbate alone with the help of clean hands, or you can masturbate with the help of sex toys.
If you’re unsure about what type of toys to use, or what types of toys will give you the type of pleasure you want (anal, vaginal, nipples, etc.), visit your sex shop for help.
In any case, it’s never a good idea to use makeshift toys or materials. These are not body-safe, and should be avoided. These include things such as:
- Hair brushes
- Bananas or other fruits
- Makeshift anal toys
- Razors
- Bottles
- Markers
6. Consider Virtual Sex
Virtual sex is another great way to alleviate sexual frustration with your partner. Get together on platforms such as FaceTime, Zoom, or Skype and start a sex session online!
To do so, make sure your time zones match and you both are able to be comfortable during the session. During virtual sex, mutual masturbation, performances, and dirty talk are all great ways to help you alleviate your sexual desires.
Virtual sex is a great way to feel close to your partner, since it provides more detail than phone sex. If your partner allows it, you can also consider having virtual sex with professional models or webcam people.
These services usually come with a fee. However, there are no strings attached, and are a great alternative if your partner is too busy to have virtual sex with you.
7. Book a Hotel Room Halfway
If distance is truly an issue, there’s no shame in meeting your partner halfway. If you two are college students on a budget, or on a budget living in different states or countries, meeting halfway can help you save money while also helping you have more sex!
To meet up halfway, do some research on the city you both plan to visit. Is there a hotel room around the area that is safe for guests? What are some romantic spots for dates around the area?
By knowing the answer to these questions, you can familiarize yourself with the halfway point between you and your partner and look forward to more sex.
In addition, spontaneity makes sex and relationships more exciting. Don’t stick to one hotel room during your sexual rendezvous.
Change it up to surrounding cities, higher-end hotel rooms, or even visit sex clubs near the area! The possibilities to explore the city, and you and your partner’s sexuality while on these vacations are virtually endless.
8. Get Some Exercise
Did you know that exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress hormones? It’s true! Countless studies have shown that exercise can reduce stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.
These can not only make it difficult for you to get arouse later on and negatively impact your sexual health, but they can also lead to physical issues such as high blood pressure and fatigue.
It’s important to get the help of a medical provider before you start any type of exercise routine. However, exercising can help reduce your long distance sexual frustration (which can lead to stress).
Exercising is also a great way to get in shape, remain physically fit, and improve your overall confidence. This is essential, since you might already have doubts about being in a long-distance relationship.
To reduce stress, improve your health, and improve the way you look at yourself, consider exercising at least once a day for 30 minutes to an hour.
You can also incorporate exercise with sex, such as kegels and glute workouts. Keggels are a great way to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and tighten your surrounding muscles.
Glute exercises improve the look of your butt, and can be as simple as doing squats or glute bridges. These exercises will help you look better and feel sexier!
9. Explore Other Forms of Intimacy
Sex is perhaps the best way to feel physically close with your partner. However, there are other forms of intimacy that can help your partner feel cared for, and help you get rid of the anxiety that comes with being sexually frustrated.
Which ways can help you feel intimate with your partner without sex? Communicate with your partner to answer this question mutually.
Do you feel close with your partner with a simple phone call? Does watching movies together through watch parties or other virtual platforms help you feel close?
Feeling close can also involve writing hand-written letters. There are an endless number of ways you can feel close to your partner and feel less sexually frustrated that don’t involve direct sexual contact.
It’s best to discuss with your partner the best ways you can salvage your relationship and reduce feelings of stress and loneliness that result from a lack of sex.
Sometimes, a simple phone call is all you need to feel cared for in a long-distance relationship.
10. Consider an Open Relationship
As a last resort, but certainly not the least, consider having an open relationship with your partner.
An open relationship is defined as a relationship where two people are understood as being in a relationship (i.e., a couple), but are free to have sexual partners outside of the relationship.
They are common nowadays, with many people enjoying the liberty that comes with an open relationship, and the ability to feel physically satisfied without their partner present.
If you create an open relationship, it’s important to understand that the potential of your relationship to fail is there, but can be reduced through proper communication, consent, and mutual understanding.
Speak with your partner about the benefits of an open relationship. If you are unable to satisfy your long distance relationship sexual frustration with any of the above-mentioned methods, having an open relationship might be the only option left.
Not to fear. With the right amount of trust, communication, and consent, you and your partner can feel sexually satisfied with others until you can be together permanently.
Make sure to discuss boundaries, such as only having one sexual partner or sticking with one-night stands.
